These Sacrifices That We Make
by Hikari no Kasai
Summary: A few sleepless nights don't usually make a difference. In this case, though, they do. They change everything. Join the guys as they face hardship, pain, death, choices that could ruin their lives, and one little deal could drive them apart.
1. These Days That We Live

Me: Wow, my third story. I need to focus more on the ones I already have. Oh well.

Kendall: Uhhh, what are we doing here, Faller?

Me: You're here for my story!

Carlos: But I thought we were in the middle of "I'm a WHAT?".

Me: We are! Silly boys! *wags finger condescendingly*

James: Then why aren't we over- MIRROR! *runs over to the mirror and admires himself*

Me: Wow, I saw that coming.

Logan: So what are we up to this time?

Me: A story full of heartbreak, angst, separation, pain…and death.

Boys: WHAT? *Background track plays: Oh-oh-oho-oooooohh*

Me: I don't own Big Time Rush in any way…..although I hope to obtain a copy of their album!

* * *

**Chapter One: These Days That W****e Live**

**Rocque Records**

Rocque Records was both the boys favorite and least favorite place. It was their favorite place because it was there that some of the best things happened to them. It was their least favorite place because it entailed certain company. That company being Gustavo Rocque. Gustavo, an overweight man with severe anger issues, had a tendency to be cold, heartless, and cruel to his 'dogs', the boys of Big Time Rush. However, even the most horrible of dog owners can throw a pretty good bone every once in a while.

It was an average day at Rocque Records. The boys had been working their tails off for the past three weeks, getting ready for a concert they were putting on that weekend. It was Thursday evening, and their daily training session was almost over. Kendall, the oldest and the tallest, stood in the left center facing into the booth. To the left of him stood Logan, the second oldest and third tallest. In the right center stood Carlos, the youngest and shortest. All the way on the right stood James, the third oldest and the second tallest. They were just finishing their final take of Halfway There. Things had been running smoothly until Carlos' voice started getting scratchy. The final straw was when he messed up the ending. That tiny little mistake would ruin their entire lives.

"We're halfway there-er-er-eeeer!" Carlos sang, his voice scratchy and rough sounding. He held the note way too long, obviously not even realizing that he was. His eyes were closed in concentration, his deeply tanned face scrunched up. His short black hair hanging slightly forward onto his forehead. He had decided to let it grow out more since their tour ended. He wore a shirt with a blue torso, with a black neckline and sleeves, which were rolled up slightly so that they only covered half of his forearms. His sweatpants were black as well, and he had no shoes on, only socks.

"Carlos….Carlos….CARLOS!" Gustavo shouted. His brownish-red hair was cut close to his head, and his little goatee was neatly trimmed. He had on his usual tinted sunglasses. Gustavo was wearing a solid orange hoodie with a plain white t-shirt on underneath. Over it, he had on a gold chain with a huge dollar sign charm on it. His pants were black and silky looking. His feet could not be seen under the recording equipment, but the boys would be safe in the assumption that his shoes would be very expensive.

"Huh? What? Yeah, what is it Gus?" Carlos snapped out of his music induced trance. He shook his head slightly, looking at the other guys.

"Uh, you kept on singing…and singing….and singing." Kendall bobbed his head with every 'singing'. He had on his favorite Minnesota Wilds Beanie over his sandy blonde hair. His jade colored eyes looking at Carlos, full of concern, but at the same time, humor. He wore a deep red hockey jersey with yellow-rimmed sleeves and waistline. It hung loosely on him, dipping lower than normal on his shoulders and neckline to reveal finely sculpted muscle. He too wore sweatpants, but his were grey. He went even farther than Carlos as far as his feet went: he had nothing on them.

"I was? Really? Sorry guys, I've been really out of it lately. And my throat hurts…really bad." Carlos had a genuinely apologetic look on his face, his cheeks darker than normal in embarrassment.

"Carlos, are you feeling well? You look a little pale." Logan asked with worry in his voice. He reached out and touched Carlos' forehead with the back of his hand. "And you're burning up! I think we should get you home." Logan had a worried look on his face that all of the guys knew well. It was the look he got whenever one of them came up with a scheme. A look full of nervousness, worry, and fear. The emotions all shone through his chocolate brown eyes. His eyes matched his hair, which was about as long as Carlos' hair, but was spiked forward and upward slightly. His dark blue shirt had a few buttons at the top, like a polo shirt sans the collar, but you could tell it was more of a pajama shirt, as he wore it with darker blue lounge pants and black socks.

"But I feel okay. My throat is just really sore from all of the singing. And I'm a little lightheaded." Carlos suddenly started to lose his balance, as if the universe was determined to prove his point. "And now I'm dizzy. But I'm okay, really!" Sweat started running down his face, turning a strange tan color as it fell off.

"Hey! Is that my makeup you're wearing? I thought some of it was missing!" James pointed an accusing finger at Carlos. His chestnut brown hair fell over his forehead, sweeping to the right. His hazel eyes shimmered with joviality as he spoke with fake anger towards Carlos. Like the rest of the guys, he was wearing very relaxed clothing. His lucky white v-neck was on, and he wore 'Minnesota Wilds' lounge pants. He was barefoot, like Kendall, but his white socks were bunched up on the floor next to him.

"Uhh, what are you talking about? I'm not wearing make-up! What would make you think-"

"Carlos, come here." Kendall interrupted him. Carlos let out a sigh, and walked over to Kendall. Kendall pulled out a tissue from his pocket, and wiped it all over Carlos' face. When all of the makeup was gone, the guys gasped in shock. Even Gustavo had his eyes wide. Carlos looked like a mess. He had enormous black bags beneath his eyes, and he was extremely pale. His cheeks were puffy, and his eyes sunken into his face. There were small scratch marks all over his face, as if he had been mauled by a cat. "Carlos….what happened?"

"I haven't been sleeping okay? I've been having nightmares every night, so I just decided to stay awake until I couldn't stay awake anymore!" Carlos had big, fat tears running down his face, making him look even weaker. "The scratches are from me clawing at my face in frustration. I need sleep so badly, but the nightmares won't leave me alone!"

"What do you dream about?" All the mirth was gone from James' face as he asked this. In it's place was worry and fear.

"A lot of things, all of them just as scary…..or sad. In one dream, you guys said I was worthless, and you got rid of me. In another, You were all dead, and there was blood on my hands. In my most recent nightmare, You were all shot because I didn't do something for somebody. I couldn't do anything as I watched you die in front of me!"

"Oh, Carlos." Kendall was heartbroken. He quickly pulled Carlos into his arms and let him sob. He had wondered why Carlos had been so clingy and sullen lately. He had even wondered if he was really hearing sobs at night in the bunk underneath him, or if it was just his imagination. He was supposed to be the leader, the protector, the guardian, but he had just let Carlos down. "Why didn't you tell us? We could have taken you to a doctor! We could have helped you!" By that time, Logan and James had joined in the hug, and Carlos was full-out bawling into Kendall's shirt.

"I don't know! I've just been so tired, I guess I didn't think. I'm sorry. I just need to go home." Carlos' sobs were becoming worse and worse, and he looked about ready to collapse from exhaustion.

"Sure thing Carlitos. Hey, Gustavo? Can Kelly give us a ride home in the limo?" Logan asked Gustavo through the microphone.

"Sorry guys, but Kelly had to leave early today. Personal reasons. I would take you home, but I have to stay and work on some of the music. Guess you'll have to walk home. Sorry." Gustavo still looked shocked, and a little nervous. He was clearly being genuine when he apologized, because it came out mumbled and awkward.

"Oh….well, I guess we better get started then. C'mon guys." James lead the way out, followed by Logan, and then Kendall holding Carlos. They walked out into the lobby where they picked up their shoes, made their way out of the building, and out onto the street. They received a few odd glances at the sight of one of them crying so badly, and several sympathetic ones. There were a few police officers that they passed on the way back who offered them a ride, but they declined. When they were within sight of the Palm Woods, Carlos had managed to calm down enough so that he was just sniffling every few seconds.

"Kendall, I think I can walk on my own now. Thanks for the help." little did Carlos know that this was his biggest mistake, next to messing up the song. Kendall gave him one last nervous glance before he let him go, albeit, reluctantly. Carlos took a few steps forward, trying his hardest not to stumble, once he had proved his point to Kendall, he flashed a quick smile. Kendall smiled back, and then quickened his pace to catch up to James and Logan who were a little ahead once he was absolutely positive that Carlos would make it the rest of the way. Once he was out of the other's line of sight, Carlos dropped his smile, and slowed his pace to a shuffle.

The next few seconds….would be the most panic filled in any of their lives up to that point. There was a sudden loud squealing sound, which immediately caught their attention. There was a car speeding down the street perpendicular to theirs, obviously with someone drunk behind the wheel. It was on a collision course…..with Carlos. Carlos just stood frozen to the spot as the car came closer and closer.

"CARLOS!" The boys screamed as they threw themselves forward, sprinting as fast as they could towards their smallest friend. Carlos was still frozen to the spot, eyes wide. He sucked in a breath, and screamed bloody murder.

"GUYS!" He finally registered what was happening, and started to run away.

Too late.

The car swerved at the last second, as if trying to pull out of the way. However, the back end swung around and hit Carlos in the chest. His friends froze, not believing what they were seeing. Time seemed to slow down around them. Carlos' eyes were full of pain as the force of the impact sent him flying backwards. Right into a lamppost. There was a sickening crunch as Carlos hit the pole, his eyes wide as he started to cough up blood. He fell to the ground as the car crashed into the fence on the side of the road. Kendall was the first to react, sprinting forwards, followed closely by Logan and James. They landed on their knees as they reached Carlos.

Kendall gently flipped Carlos onto his back and laid his head on his knees. Carlos was crying fierce, but silent, tears, and was coughing up blood violently. Tears formed in the guys eyes at the sight.

"Hey guys…..sorry I ruined our day. I guess-" He was interrupted by a brief coughing fit. "I guess…..this is goodbye. I love you guys." I smile creeped onto his face as his eyes started to droop.

"Carlos! Don't you dare leave us! We can't take it! We need you! I need you! Carlos? Carlos?" Kendall's voice slowly raised in volume as he realized his friend wasn't reacting. "CARLOOOOOS!" He was vaguely aware of sirens in the distance as pain and sadness forced his eyes closed.

'Why….did this happen?'

* * *

Me: Well….there you go. I hope you don't want to kill me. Don't worry, things will get better. The guys are a little busy at the moment. The next chapter will be longer, don't worry. Until then.


	2. These Times That We Hurt

Me: Okay, so, recap. Carlos was suffering from insomnia, and then got hit by a car….yep, that's about it.

Kendall: (in tears) HOW COULD YOU? OUR BEST FRIEND?

Logan: (crying too hard to speak)

James: Yeah, this is seriously messed up! What's the matter with you? Look at how broken we are!

Me: Don't worry, things will get better!

Boys: That's what they always say.

Me: I know, but they really will get better.

Kendall: How?

Me: I NEVER SAID HE WAS DEAD! Gosh, you really need to learn to read the story!

Boys:…..(stunned silence)

Me: There. Now, who would like to do the disclaimer?

Sean: I'll do it. *clears throat* **Hikari no Kasai (Faller) does not own Big Time Rush**. Did I do it right?

Me: Yep! Now, on with the story!

* * *

**Chapter Two: These Times That We Hurt**

**Just outside of the Palm Woods**

Logan was the last one to reach Carlos. When he did, he wished that he hadn't seen him at all. He was violently coughing up blood, and he was speaking so quietly that only Kendall could hear him. Since he had been studying to become a doctor, he knew what to do. He whipped out his phone and dialed the three numbers that he was all to familiar with. When a woman picked up the phone, Logan explained the situation as best he could, trying to avoid the sight of his best friend dying on the ground. Thankfully, the hospital was only three blocks away, and the paramedics were quickly on their way.

"Carlos! Don't you dare leave us! We can't take it! We need you! I need you! Carlos? Carlos? CARLOOOOOS!" Logan heard Kendall's terrible, heartbroken scream, and that's when he broke down. He fell to his knees on the side of the street, and let the pain overtake him. He didn't know how to deal with this, especially since this was his best friend. "Please, Carlos. Don't die…..please don't die…..come back, come back." Kendall continued to mutter like this until someone started to pry him away from Carlos.

"Come on, son. It's okay. Let him go, that's it. Nice and easy. We're going to take real good care of your buddy here. It'll be okay." One of the paramedics that had arrived was slowly getting Kendall to give Carlos to the paramedics. As hard as it was for him to let his friend go, he knew that not doing so would only worsen their situation.

"Is…is he….gonna…" James was hardly able to speak through his sobs. They racked his body to the point of physical pain. He was jerking and twitching with tears as some girl comforted him. It took James a minute to realize that it was Camille.

"Shhh, it's okay, James, it's okay. They're gonna take care of him, he'll be fine." Camille held James in her arms, gently rocking him back and forth. James just continued to cry. As soon as Carlos was out of Kendall's reach, he was immediately strapped to a gurney and hooked up to an IV. One of the paramedics, one Joey O'Connor, turned to the boys and offered them a ride in the ambulance with their friends. They immediately accepted, and hobbled and stumbled over. By that time, a large crowd had gathered, some in tears, others in shock, and some just confused.

"Excuse me, umm, Joey? Is…is Carlos going to be okay?" Logan asked nervously, still crying softly. Kendall and James looked up at this, tears and sniffles momentarily stopping.

"Well, we won't know exactly what's wrong with him until we get him into the ER, but I'm not gonna lie to you guys, the chances of survival are pretty slim." Joey had a grave look on his face. He snuck a quick look at Carlos before he turned back to the guys. "Look, I need some help. One of you come over here and keep this gauze on that wound. Make sure to apply plenty of pressure, it'll stop the bleeding faster. And another one of you, keep an eye on that monitor on the IV. If the middle line goes flat, grab those paddles over there and hand them to me. And the last one of you, come over here and hold this for me."

James stayed where he was to keep an eye on the heart monitor. Logan ran to Carlos' side to apply pressure. Kendall stood up next to Joey to grab whatever he was holding.

"What's this?" Kendall looked down at the object in his hands, and noticed that it was a pocket watch. "A pocket watch? What's this for?"

"In case I need to proclaim the time of death. Only doctors can do that you know." At the word 'death', Kendall froze up.

'Dead? He can't die…..he just can't.'

* * *

**Waiting Room of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital 2:40 AM**

The boys were in the waiting room. It was almost three o'clock in the morning. They had been waiting for hours and hours. Mrs. Knight had come over about an hour after they had arrived, already in tears. She had run over to her sons and dragged them all into a huge hug. Carlos, James, and Logan weren't just Kendall's best friends, they were also his adopted brothers. Stacy Knight had taken in Logan from an orphanage when Kendall was two. She had taken over Carlos from his abusive parents about a month later, and officially adopted him another three months after that. James had the hardest history. Kendall had seen him living in the streets when Stacy dropped him off at daycare once when he was four, and had convinced his mom to take him home. It had taken another year or so before it was finally allowed, but Stacy had managed to adopt him too. James never talked about it, but Stacy had a theory that the reason James sought so much attention was because of his lack of it early in life.

"Oh, my poor babies. Are you all okay? Are you hurt? Was it just Carlos? Oh God, my baby boy! So hurt!" Stacy was fussing over all of them, desperately trying to dry their tears, comforting them in a way only a mother can. "I brought all of you a fresh change of clothes for tomorrow, and some new pajamas for tonight. Oh thank God it was only one of you!"

"WHAT? How can you be glad that Carlos is hurt, mom? He could die, and you're being thankful?" Kendall was standing right next to his mother, towering over her. He had one of the angriest looks on his face that any of them had ever seen. Stacy gently placed her hands on her sons shoulders, lowering him down into his seat.

"Kendall, of course I'm upset that Carlos is hurt. I wish that none of you was hurt. All I'm saying is that I'm glad it was only one of you. I wouldn't be able to handle it if two or more of you were hurt." She gently caressed his cheek with the palm of her hand, then moving up to stroke his hair. At her tenderness, Kendall broke down into tears once more.

"Mom, you didn't see him….there was just so much blood. I was terrified." James practically whispered. His tears had never stopped, flowing in constant stream down his face, even if he was holding himself together. "I don't know if he'll make it."

"Don't talk like that, man! We have to have faith in Carlos! He can pull through this….I know he can." Logan had stopped crying, but he knew it wouldn't last long.

"Oh, com'ere James. It'll be okay honey. I promise you, everything will end up okay." This lightened the boys hearts a little. Their Mom always followed through on her promises. Though, for the first time, there was still some doubt in their minds.

* * *

**Waiting Room of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital** **7:00 AM**

The boys were finally waking up from a restless night. They had changed into their clean pajamas at about 3:20, too exhausted to stay awake. They had slept fitfully on the lumpy, uncomfortable couches in the waiting room. Dr. Joey still hadn't come out of the ER, which was both a good and a bad sign. It was good because it meant that Carlos wasn't dead. It was bad because it meant that he was still very, very hurt.

"Morning guys. Get any sleep?" Kendall asked, standing up and stretching his arms and back. He wore a plain black muscle shirt and black lounge pants with white socks. Logan nodded as he yawned, also stretching. He wore a green muscle shirt with dark blue lounge pants and black socks. James muttered out some gibberish, remaining curled up on his couch under a sheet provided by the hospital. He had on another white v-neck, some Big Time Rush lounge pants he had gotten from Katie, who had stayed the night at a friends, and white socks. All of their hair was a mess, and they all looked like they could use more sleep.

"Well, we might as well ask how Carlos is. Where do we do that, Logie?" James asked, standing up, immediately pulling out his lucky comb and running it through his hair, attempting to tame it.

"Over at the-the-theeeeee desk over there." Logan yawned right in the middle of his sentence, dragging out the words. He pointed to the desk and lead the way. "Um, excuse me? Miss?" The nurse sitting behind the desk immediately looked up and smiled.

"Yes, how can I help you guys? Looking for a room?" She smiled brightly, eager to help them out. She had on sky blue scrubs that matched her eyes, and complimented her sandy blonde hair. Her nametag said 'Keegan O'Connor'. Logan briefly wondered if she was related to Joey in any way.

"No, actually, we were wondering about our friend, Carlos Garcia." A look of sadness passed over Keegan's face.

"Oh. My brother Joey is his doctor. I'm sorry, but he's still in the ER. Nobody's been updated since he went in last night. I heard that he was in a coma, but looking at the list of his injuries, I wouldn't be surprised. Not to sound bad or anything, but with his wounds, it would be the most likely thing to happen." She had a look of regret in her eyes.

"Oh… Well, could you tell us when you receive an update?" Kendall asked with a nervous smile.

"Sure thing. What is your relation to the patient?" Keegan pulled out a sticky note and got her pen ready.

"We're his brothers. He was adopted by my mom, same as these two."

"Awww, how sweet! I have an adopted brother, his name is Erin. He's a real sweetie." she quickly wrote down what she need on the sticky note. "Okay, I'll let you know!"

"Thanks." James muttered. "Hey guys, I'm gonna go grab some coffee from the shop across the street. You want anything?" Kendall just shook his head: he didn't drink that much coffee.

"I'll just take a mocha with chocolate shavings on the top." Logan had recently developed an unhealthy obsession with Mochas, and the shop across the street had some of the best ones in town. James let out a sigh.

"Why did I even bother to ask? Alright, call me the second you get any new information!" Kendall nodded once before walking off back to the waiting room. Logan uttered a small 'kay', before he turned back around to the nurse, asking some intense medical questions James couldn't hope to understand.

James left the building as fast as he could, needing to smell some fresh air. He didn't care that he looked like a bum, a first for him, because he was too tired and distraught. He reached the front doors, eagerly walking out into the morning sun. Across the street was the coffee shop, called 'Colombian Treasures'. James crossed the empty street, ignoring the disapproving stares from an elderly woman walking along.

"Man, I can smell the coffee from here! I hope it's as good as they say it is." James hurried into the shop, walking up to the counter. There weren't many people in the shop at seven in the morning, but there were enough to make James uncomfortable with their stares. He stepped up to the counter. The barista was a teenage girl, James guessed about 16, with a bobbed hair cut down to her chin. It was golden blonde, and accentuated her big, doe-like hazel eyes with flecks of gold in them. Tucked behind her left ear was a single green highlight. She was leaned over the counter, reading a book. She looked short, maybe a little over five feet. She had on a black uniform with a green rimmed tennis visor and green shoes.

"Um, hello?" The girl looked up, seeming irritated that she was interrupted while reading, but only slightly. Her nametag said, 'Ariadne'. "Yeah, Ariadne, can I-"

"The name's Ari. Call me Ariadne, and I will hurt you!" She got an evil gleam in her eye.

"Oh, okay. Sorry. Anyway, I'll take a mocha with chocolate shavings, and a large black coffee with extra sugar in it to go, and maybe a date, if I could be so lucky?" James flashed one of his 'charming' smiles and flicked his hair slightly.

"Ha, cute. The coffee will be ready in a minute. Your other order however, you may be waiting on for a looooong time." She smirked as she wrote down the order which she gave to someone in the kitchen behind her.

"Aw, c'mon, I'm famous! And my friends in the hospital, so I need something to take my mind off of things." James kept smiling, although bringing up Carlos made it that much harder.

"Yeah, well, everyone in this town is famous. And the hospital is right across the street, so I've heard that excuse before, Mr. Original." She scowled.

"No, seriously, my friend is in the hospital. His name is Carlos Garcia, and-"

"Carlos Garcia? Oh, you are telling the truth. I saw on the news this morning that he was in the hospital. I love Big Time Rush, so when the headline said 'Big Time Disaster' I was glued to the screen! Don't tell anyone, but Carlos and James are my favorites." She leaned in at this part like it was some huge secret.

"Well, thank you! I'm flattered." James looked rather proud of himself.

"What are you talking about? Just who do you think you are, coming in here in barely passable clothes, and expecting to take me on a date?" Her face had gone red with anger, and she had started shouting, attracting the other customer's attention.

"Well, I'm talking about being your favorite! Nice to meet you Ari, I'm James Diamond." James went to shake her hand, smiling from ear to ear. Ari was flustered to say the least.

"Oh! Oh my God, I didn't even recognize you! Your hair is messed up, and your clothes aren't designer, and you look-"

"Terrible? Yeah, I know. That's what happens when your little brother is in the hospital dying."

"Brother?"

"Oh yeah, brother. Mrs. Knight adopted all of us except for Kendall by the time we were all about five. So, how about that date?" James was officialy on the offensive, not ready to take no for an answer.

"Well, I-I, I mean." She cleared her throat, straightened herself up to her full hight, and brushed off her clothes. "I would, but I don't get off work until noon."

"That's alright. Carlos will probably be in the hospital for a while. So, I'll meet you outside the shop at noon?" Ari looked taken aback.

"Well, uh, okay." She offered a small smile and nervously ran her fingers through her hair. She turned around when the coffee was ready, and put it on the counter for James.

"Great! I'll see you then!" James confidently picked up his drinks and turned right back around, and left the shop.

"Did I just…get a date with my idol?"

* * *

**Waiting Room of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital** **9:00 AM**

The guys had been waiting in the hospital for a couple more hours. They had all changed into their new clothes after using the hospital showers. They were refreshed and ready to face the day, especially James and Logan, who had caffeine in their system. Logan had enjoyed his mocha, and had asked who the barista was; Camille worked there when she wasn't acting.

"It was this really pretty girl named Ari. I've got a date with her at noon." James sat down on one of the couches.

"What? A date? While Carlos is hurt? What's the matter with you James?" Kendall was having anger management problems…..again. It always tended to happen when one of his friends was hurt.

"Calm down, Kendall! It's a way to get my mind off things and escape from the world, if only for a little while! You should try that with Jo!"

"I…..I guess you're right. I'm just so stressed out right now. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost." Kendall hanged his head in shame, letting the tears fall once again. "It's just, he's always been so innocent and happy! The baby of our group! I don't understand why this happened to him. It's not fair."

"Of course it's not fair, but what can we do? We're not doctors, and even if we were, there's only so much that we could do. The best thing for us to do is to hope for a miracle." Logan sat down next to Kendall as he said this, rubbing his older brother's back soothingly.

"Guys? Hey, Joey wants to see you guys over there." The guys looked up and saw Keegan standing next to them, gesturing towards the entrance to the ER. The guys nodded, and got up from their seats. They slowly approached Dr. O'Connor, hoping for the best.

"Joey, hi. Is Carlos okay?" Kendall immediately jumped on the opportunity to get some answers. Joey's face was frozen in determination for a moment, until one single tear fell out of his eye, and down his cheek.

"I'm sorry." It was all he had to say, and the boys knew what had happened. Their baby brother had gotten hurt, and this time, he wasn't getting better.

He was gone.

* * *

Me: And there's the chapter for you. I hope you like it. Joey and Keegan are my friend Sean's cousins, and Ari is an OC created by Underworldchick-n-VMKPirate. Well, just Underworldchick. Feel free to guess what happens next. Until next time, stay alive and well.


	3. These Deals That We Strike

Me: There, now you can cry.

Kendall: (punches me in the face) JERK!

James: (crying hysterically) Carlos….oh Carlos.

Logan: (sitting reading something)

Me: Logaaaaan? What are you reading?

Logan: The finished copy of the story. I've gotta say, for-

Me: (ties up and throws in the containment room) There, now he won't be able to tell anyone anything. (smiles)

James and Kendall: (stare at me in shock)

Me: That is why you don't mess with me. So, Jess, you wanna do the disclaimer?

Jess: Sure thing, hun. **Faller here doesn't own Big Time Rush at all. **Good?

Me: Yep, great job. Now, on to the story.

* * *

**Chapter Three: These Deals That We Strike**

**Waiting Room of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital** **9:10 AM**

"Please, Joey, tell me this is some sort of sick joke." Logan looked broken on the inside. You could see his heart break in his eyes, and the pain of the situation could be seen taking it's toll. "Please tell me that Carlos is fine."

"I'm sorry to inform you that Carlos Geraldo Garcia-Knight passed away at 9:00 this morning. His wounds were too severe for him to pull through. You have my deepest condolences." Joey was very stoic, showing no emotion. Logan had seen that look before. It was the look that most doctors used when telling the family about the death of a patient.

"But, but Mom said that-" James started to whisper, tears flowing freely down his face.

"Mom can't always keep her promises James! She broke this one. It was bound to happen eventually." Kendall was crying just as hard as James, fists clenched at his sides.

"Shut up, Kendall! James is in denial! It's just a part of the grieving process! This'll probably be hardest for him because of…..what happened before." Logan stepped in front of James, trying to protect him from Kendall's anger somehow.

"Boys, please. I know that this is hard, but to get through this, you all need each other. 'United we stand, divided we fall' and all that stuff, you know?" Joey laid his hands on Kendall and Logan's shoulders. They were both shaking, although he was fairly sure that Kendall was shaking more from anger than grief. Kendall turned and looked Joey in the eye. Joey would never forget those eyes…so haunted.

"It's always been my job to protect him. All of them. And now he's gone. I don't deserve to have friends if when I let them down, they die. I should have asked Carlos what was wrong sooner. I should have seen the signs. I was blind to his pain, and now he's dead." Joey had seen this several times before. Kendall was blaming himself for what was definitely not his fault.

"Kendall, hindsight is always 20-20. Do you know what that means?" Kendall just shook his head. "It means that when you look back on things, the answer is always clear. You aren't omniscient, Kendall, so there was no way that you could have known what would happen. From what you told me, even your Mom had no clue, and Mom's always know what's going on with their kids. I know you're thinking that you should have done something, but his sleep deprivation and cutting problems had nothing to do with-"

"What? Cutting problems? My baby was cutting himself?" The guys all turned around to see Mrs. Knight standing there, tears in her eyes. Joey had a confused look in his eyes.

"You didn't know? He wasn't wearing make-up on his arms, so I assumed…" Kendall felt like an idiot. He had wondered why Carlos had never wanted to go swimming for the past few weeks, or why he never seemed to wear t-shirts anymore. "Did any of you know?" All of the guys shook their heads. "Oh. Well, most of the cuts were near the crook of his elbow. There were at least ten on each arm, but we didn't look too closely, so there might have been more. Do you have any idea as to when it may have started?"

"At the most, three weeks ago. He stopped going swimming, he always wore long-sleeved shirts, and he wouldn't change with any of us in the room." Logan told Joey, trying to hold in his tears.

"Alright. Well, as I was saying, his sleep deprivation and cutting problems have nothing to do with why he's in the hospital. That was all the drunk driver's fault. Kendall, what you need right now is to focus on what you're going to do, not what you should have done. Worry about the future, not the past. I can't let you see him yet. We need to clean up…..make him more presentable." Joey looked to the boys and Mrs. Knight, waiting for an answer, before turning around and heading back into the ER.

"Boys, what's going on?" Stacy asked her sons, tears starting to form, her voice quavering with worry. James started crying harder than ever, and he rushed to his mother, falling to his knees and clinging to her shirt. Logan broke down at that, falling into a chair and bawling his eyes out. Kendall just stood frozen in place, staring at the ER doors, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. All of a sudden, the truth hit her. "Oh my God….my baby boy." Her tears started to fall, and she fell into the seat behind her. She ran her hands through James hair as he cried into her stomach. Her head was bowed, and her shoulders shook with her sobs.

'Why did my baby have to die?'

* * *

**Colombian Treasures 12:00 PM**

"Finally! Jimmy! I'm clocking out, my shifts over!" Ari punched out, ending her shift. She went back to the locker room, quickly stripping off her uniform and pulling on some light blue jeans, a white tank top, and a black t-shirt with a picture of Stewey Griffin saying, 'I've been a bawdy little monkey'. "Now, to go on my date with none other than the hottest guy ever: James Diamond."

"WHAT?" All of a sudden, Ari was tackled to the ground and pinned by her best friend, Annalise Davis. Of course, with a name like Annalise, people were bound to try to call her Anna…..those people quickly learned their lesson. Anna was half-Latina, so she had a very deep tan. She was very tall, with long legs and wide set hips. Her chocolate brown hair fell to her shoulder blades, nice and straight. Her eyes were a deep, earthy brown, with small flecks of ocean blue and forest green in them. She wasn't wearing any make-up, but she really didn't need to. She wore a red tank top with blue capris that had yellow lightning designs on the side.

"What, what?"

"YOU got a date with WHO?" Annalise, who was more commonly known by her middle name, Thalia, had a crazy look in her eye that made Ari feel both very scared and very nauseous.

"Uhhhh, James Diamond? The hottest guy in the world?" Ari phrased everything like a question, not sure what response Thalia wanted.

"That's what I thought you said…..WHY DIDN'T YOU GO FOR THE REAL HOT ONE?" Thalia was fuming, Ari could almost see the steam coming out of her ears.

"I did! James is the hottie, Kendall's the leader, Logan's the brains, and Carlos is the spirit of them." Ari remembered how James looked, all because Carlos was hurt. Thalia was going on and on about Carlos being the hottie, but Ari had to know something. "Thals, do you not know what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Thalia was instantly calm at the tone of Ari's voice. "What happened?"

"Carlos…he's in the hospital, Thals. He got into a serious accident. James wanted to escape reality for a while, so he asked me on a date. I didn't do it out of pity…..mostly. I thought he was lying until he told me everything." Annalise was frozen. "Thals?"

"Are you telling me….that my beloved-to-be…..is dying….in that hospital….AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW?" Annalise turned and sprinted towards the hospital.

"Thalia!" Ari ran after Thalia as fast as she could, but seeing as she was a swimmer, not a softball player like Thalia, she didn't have much of a chance at catching her. She was however, able to keep her in sight. She followed her through the twists and turns of the hospital until she ran right into Thalia's back. "What happened? Why'd you stop?"

"That's why." Thalia raised her hand and pointed to three boys and a woman, bawling their eyes out. "I don't think you're gonna go on that date anymore."

* * *

**?**

Carlos had no recollection of how he got where he was. Nor did he even know where he was. He didn't know anything at the moment. Slowly, he opened his eyes. When he did, he had to blink a few times to make sure they were open. It looked the same either way. "Am I…am I blind?"

"No. You are however, dead." Carlos' head snapped upwards. He looked around for a moment before realizing that he wasn't standing, or sitting, or laying down. He was floating.

"Who said that? Where am I? How did I get here? Where are my brothers?" Carlos was starting to panic, thrashing about and trying to find something to hold on to.

"Hold still, or you'll break the floating spell. That's the only thing holding you up and out of Hell you know." Carlos froze immediately. He, personally, did not want to go to Hell.

"Why would I go there? I've been a good person! I always kept my promises, I helped my Mom with the stuff around the house, I-"

"Stop talking so I can focus on getting you out of Purgatory. Everyone goes to Purgatory when they die. Whether or not they stay there until they are ready to move on is up to their actions…literally. Forgiveness takes time, and the impatient don't receive it."

"What have I done that needed forgiving? I don't remember doing anything bad, besides throwing a few tantrums back when I was little." Carlos was doing his best not to move, however, he had an itch on his back that was starting to drive him crazy. "Can I move at all?"

"Yes, just don't thrash around. Slow, gentle movements are fine." The voice was definitely that of a woman.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but who are you? And where are you? I'm all alone here, so how can I hear you?"

"Didn't I tell you to stop talking? Removing someone from Purgatory before judgment time takes a lot of focus and energy. Five more minutes, and then you can ask me all the questions you want." Carlos complied, making sure that all of his movements were reasonably paced and calm. In the time that he was in the abyss, he even went so far as to act like he was swimming.

"Are you almost done?" Carlos shouted after what felt like, at least, a good half an hour.

"Hm? Oh, I was done ten minutes ago, I was just waiting for you to ask." Carlos raised his eyebrow.

"Did you do that to be rude? That isn't a nice thing to do."

"Oh no, but we immortals have different rules of behavior than you mortals do. We never assume that people will just give answers when they reach them, we always have to ask when we think they know. I wasn't just going to tell you I was ready, as it's only proper for you to ask first." Carlos was confounded. Immortals? What was this crazy lady talking about?

'Well, I shouldn't be surprised by anything, seeing as I'm talking to a bodiless voice in Purgatory.' Carlos shook his head and sighed. "So, would you get me out of here please? I really don't like being stuck in this blackness….even if it is perfect for naps."

"Do you really feel the need to sleep? You shouldn't, not anymore. The dead don't need sleep."

"But, I'm obviously not dead, seeing as I'm aware of my surroundings and I'm talking to you." The woman just laughed.

"Your point is well made." All of a sudden, the darkness started to get lighter and lighter, until it was all white, and glowing to the point that Carlos had to shield his eyes. All of a sudden, he was hitting the ground on his butt, arms still crossed over his face. There was still light shining through, but not nearly as much as before. "Come now Carlos, let me have a look at you."

"Wha-?" Carlos opened his eyes, blinking a few times at the sudden light. When he was finally adjusted to it, he looked up towards where he heard the voice, and gasped. In front of him was the single most terrifying person he had ever seen. Even though none of her skin was visible, he didn't know if he even wanted to see it. She was wearing a black cloak that hung loosely on her shoulders, with the hood up, although Carlos could see the ends of black hair. Under that she wore a black dress with frayed ends, short enough in front to show she was wearing black boots, but long enough in the back that it was almost like the train of a bridal dress. Her arms were hidden by the cloak. The most terrifying part was the pair of jet black wings that sprouted from her shoulder blades.

"It's nice to finally meet you. I am Kedrehil, but you may call me Jessica, for that is how it has been translated into the modern tongue. I am the Angel of Death." She stuck her gloved hand out, showing that the sleeves of her dress also had frayed ends. Carlos was seriously doubting his choice to leave Purgatory. Being with this lady didn't seem like it would be that much better.

* * *

**Waiting Room of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital** **11:50 P.M.**

Ari and Thalia had been with the guys and their Mother for hours. They boys had been crying too hard to explain what happened, but they didn't need to. The girls could tell from the way they were acting. Carlos was gone.

"Hey, c'mon James. It's okay. He's not in pain any more. And, where he's going, he'll be able to sleep as much as he wants, no nightmares. Aren't you happy that he doesn't have to suffer?" Ari knew this wasn't the best way to go about helping them, but it was a way that always worked, even if they didn't like it. It was the safe way. It was a constant. And the guys needed a constant thing in their life right now.

"I know, but it's not-not fair! Hic! Why did he-he have t-to go? Hic!" James had moved from Mama Knight, or Stacy as she insisted on being called, to her, and was sobbing into her shirt. He was crying so hard he was hiccupping. Logan was still sitting in his chair, bawling and screaming in emotional pain as a sullen Thalia rubbed his back. Kendall was in James' old spot at his mother's knees, head buried as if that would help hide the fact that he was crying.

"I know, I know. I lost my older brother to a car crash last year. It gets harder before it gets easier. I know that I sound harsh, but sometimes hearing the truth is better for you than hearing what you want to hear." Ari just continued to rub his back. She knew it wasn't right. None of it. It wasn't right that her older brother died the night he proposed to his girlfriend, or that Carlos died in the prime of his youth, while living his dream. They were both sweet, sensitive guys, always putting others needs before their own.

"R-really? I'm so sorry, Ari. I'm s-so sorry. Hic! I j-just want Carlos back!" James tears began again, in even greater numbers than before.

"We all do, J-James! We know that this has to be hardest on you, b-but, it still h-hurts." Logan had never stopped crying.

"Um, he's ready to be seen now, if anyone's ready." Joey nervously walked up to them. He had no idea who the two girls were, they had just randomly walked in hours ago, followed by security. Everyone looked at each other before Kendall spoke out.

"As hard as it'll be…I'll go. I need to see for myself that he's dea-…gone. If I'm gonna give up hope, I'll do it on my own." Kendall had dark circles under his eyes, which were red and puffy. Joey just nodded and led Kendall through the doors. They went through a few twists and turns, and finally, they were right outside Carlos' door.

"Take your time….it's not a goodbye yet." Joey turned and walked back the way they came. Kendall took a deep breath and entered the room. There on a table, covered by a sheet, was Carlos. How did he know? His shoes stuck out of the bottom and his helmet was next to him. Kendall walked up and started to pull the sheet down. As soon as Carlos' hair started to show, he knew he couldn't do it, and broke down.

"I'm s-so sorry Carlos. If-if only I had been a b-better big brother! I should-should have seen the signs! Oh, God, why Carlos? Why not me? It should have been me!" Kendall bowed his head as he fell to his knees.

"Yes, maybe it should have been." Kendall snapped his head up and gasped.

Kendall couldn't seem to grasp what he was seeing. On the other side of the sheet that Carlos' broken body was under, was a figure all in black. They wore a simple black cloak with a hood. Under the cloak was a long black dress that was short enough in the front to reveal black leather boots, but long enough in the back that it trailed behind the figure for a good three feet, maybe more. Kendall couldn't be one hundred percent sure, but he was fairly certain that the mysterious figure was a woman of some sort. But the thing that shocked him the most was not that it came out of seemingly nowhere, but that there were two enormous, jet black wings extending from it's back.

"Who-who are you?" Kendall was frozen in place next to Carlos.

"My name is of no importance, as of yet. my business here is all about you-" she, for her voice revealed that she was indeed a woman, raised one hand and vaguely gestured to Kendall. "And your friend here." She lowered her raised hand and quickly pulled back the sheet that covered Carlos. Kendall thought he was going to be sick. Carlos was swollen, bruised, and cut all over. The sheet had been pulled back far enough to show a few raw scars on his bare chest where the doctors had cut into him.

"What do you mean? What do you want with us? Can't you just leave him alone? Pull the sheet back up, I don't want to see him like this. If only he wasn't de-dea...gone."

"But, you see Kendall, that's just why I'm here. He doesn't have to be."

"What? He's dead, you can't change that. But, if you could, if anyone could, I would do anything, give anything to bring him back. My poor baby brother...he didn't deserve this." Kendall dropped his head, new tears starting to fall.

"So, you would give me anything, anything at all, to get your...brother back?" The woman cocked her head to the side.

"Yes, anything, absolutely anything at all! I'd even trade places with him. Anything to get him back." All of a sudden, Kendall felt a flash of pain in his chest. As he opened his eyes, he saw a sword impaled right through his heart. Only, there wasn't any blood, and the pain wasn't anywhere near what he was expecting. Looking up, he saw that the hand grasping the hilt was the woman.

"Fine. Then, as the Angel of Death, I accept your soul as payment for the return of your brother's life. You shall serve me, for eternity...whether it is by your will or not." She slowly started pulling her sword out, and with it came something bright white and glowing. "This is it. Your soul." Kendall started to feel weak.

"How...did you-" Everything was getting blurry, and he was starting to lose focus.

"You have two weeks to finish up your affairs and say goodbye. Two weeks to the dot." She looked at the clock, which read twelve o'clock, midnight. "Well, that's a convenient time. When you awaken, you need only touch your brother, and he shall awaken. And remember this, Kendall Knight, you must not tell anyone of me, or our deal. If you do, I destroy your soul, and you shall be wiped from this world, along with any traces and memories of you. It will be as if you never existed. So remember, say nothing, and you only have two weeks." The Angel's voice got fuzzy at the end, and everything was getting dark.

'What...have I done?' And then Kendall blacked out.

* * *

Well, that was that. I would like to give shout outs to UnderworldChick, CappuccinoBelleMare13, Kenlos Is Love, Sean, and Jessica. Where was Carlos? You'll find out. What's gonna happen next? You'll find that out too. Until next time, try not to sell your souls to the Angel of Death. Oh! And i would also like to thank a very supportive, regular fan of mine, ILOVECARLOS, an anonymous reviewer, no matter how much I wish they weren't anonymous. Thank you so much. I'm a WHAT will be updated soon, but Sean's tupidity had delayed things.


	4. These Ones That We Love

Me: I feel so lazy. I haven't worked on this in forever, and I keep obsessing over it too. Hmm….that's weird.

Kendall: (unconscious)

James: Great. First you kill one of my brothers, then you throw one in a containment chamber, and now you've stolen another's soul. WHEN IS ENOUGH GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Logan: You do realize Kendall is just sleeping right now. And that Faller let me out only about an hour after he threw me in? We talked, and I swore not to reveal the secrets of the story.

James: What? But that's not fair! Why do you get to know?

Me: Because, Logan stole the finished copy from my bag when he was cleaning it out for me.

Katie: Why haven't I really shown up yet?

Me: (pinches her cheeks) I'm sorry sweetie, but I really just need to get past this one thing, and then you will be showing up a lot more, okay? Thalia, Ari, that means you girls too! This chapter really only has the boys in it.

Ari: Fine, as long as I get my date with James.

Thalia: I don't know what you see in him. Carlos is the real hottie!

Ari: No, James is the real- (she and Thalia get dropped through a trapdoor to another containment room)

Me: I do not want to put up with them fighting. Joel, would you do the disclaimer for us today?

Joel: Sure thing. **Faller doesn't own anything but the OC's that he includes in this story, along with the story itself**. Good?

Me: Yep. Shoutouts to Underworldchick-n-VMKPirate, CappucinoBelleMare13, YunasDestiny, Kenlos is Love, ILOVECARLOS, Sean, Jessica, and Joel. I love you guys dearly!

Jess: Yeah, yeah, enough fluff. Can we get back on with the story already?

James: Please? I want to know if things get worse.

Me: Okay, okay, stop being so pushy!

* * *

**Chapter Four: These Ones That We Love**

**Waiting Room of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital** **12:30 A.M.**

Logan and James had been waiting for Kendall to come and get them for more than a half an hour. They were getting very antsy, and wondered if they should go ahead and go in without waiting. Kendall may be too upset to even get up and come and get them.

"Guys, I know you want to see him, but please, relax. Pacing the floor in angst will not help." James had quickly that Ari was never one to beat around the bush. She got straight to the point, but wasn't blunt unless it was necessary. "If you really can't wait, go ahead in. I'm sure Kendall will understand. He never said that you had to wait." Ari was sitting in the chair Logan had been in, holding onto Thalia who was sitting in her lap, crying into her shoulder.

"But, what if-" Logan began.

"Honey, please, go. Your big brother needs your help right now. No matter how strong he is, he can't face this alone. I would go, but…I just can't see m-my little b-b-baby boy l-like that." Stacy had walked over to the boys grabbing one of their shoulders each and rubbing small comforting circles. At least, until she started crying. When she did, she just wrapped her arms around herself and knelt down to the floor. Katie, who had been brought over to the hospital by Tyler and his mom, quickly ran over to her Mom and hugged her.

"Go." Was all Katie had to say. The tears in her eyes broke her brother's hearts. They both nodded and turned to go into the ER. They followed the passageways, occasionally asking random doctors or nurses for directions. Finally, they came to the right room. It was out of the way of most of the traffic, situated nicely in a back hallway, close to their blood containment rooms for transfusions.

"I-…I don't know if I can do this. I'm afraid, Jamie." Logan slowly started sniffling, not looking at the door to the room. The guys all had nicknames for each other, although, Logie and Carlitos seemed to be the only ones anyone else heard. James and Kendall were still Jamie and Kenny to the brothers, even if the names seemed juvenile.

"Logie-….I know it'll be hard, but if Carlos were here, he wouldn't want us to be sad, would he?" Logan slowly shook his head. "Right. And we all need each other right now. None of us are to blame for this. So, if not for yourself, at least go in for me, and for Kendall, and for Mom, and Katie, and….Carlitos." James also started tearing up at the end, but his message had gotten through to Logan, who had looked at James, nodded, and then went to open the door.

Just before he did, James got the worst feeling that something had happened in that room that would scare the life out of him.

He was right.

As soon as Logan opened the door, he froze, only for an instant, before crying out. "KENDALL!" James snapped back to reality and looked into the room. On the floor, looking very pale and weak, was Kendall. Unconscious…he hoped. He and Logan sprinted through the room over to Kendall, dropping to their knees next to him. James grabbed Kendall's shoulders and started shaking them violently.

"KENDALL! PLEASE, WAKE UP! DON'T BE DEAD, PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE US HERE!" James continued shaking his older brother like a madman, while Logan started bawling and muttering babble under his breath. James only stopped when he felt an arm on his own shoulder. He hadn't realized it, but he had been blinded by tears while he was shaking Kendall. He wiped the tears out of his eyes and looked down to see Kendall awake and smiling slightly.

"I wouldn't dare leave you guys behind. Never. I swear." Kendall pulled James' hands off of his shoulders before sitting up, only slightly shakily. "C'mon, Logan, it's all right. I'm perfectly fine, see?" Kendall gestured to his body, which held no mark of injury, except..

"Kendall! What tore through your shirt like that?" Logan pointed to a hole in Kendall's shirt about the size of a baseball, and a scab the entire diameter of the whole right over Kendall's heart.

"Huh? I don't know. Maybe it got torn off when I passed out. As for the scab? Who knows? With all the reckless stuff we get up to, I'm surprised we aren't completely covered in scars. Well, Carlos is right now, but that's different." James and Logan gasped in shock when they heard Kendall talk about Carlos as if he was just sleeping and not dead.

"Kendall, what's the matter with you! Show some respect for him, and don't talk about him like he's just gonna wake up from a mid-afternoon-nap!" James was furious at Kendall. Why wasn't he respecting their baby brother's memory? Especially when the pain was so fresh. "Wait, why aren't you sad? You should be bawling your eyes out!"

"Why?" Kendall looked like he honestly had no clue as to why he should be sad.

"BECAUSE CARLOS IS DEAD! HE'S DEAD, AND WE CAN NEVER GET HIM BACK!" James slapped Kendall across the face, the sound of it making Logan flinch.

"Please, don't fight…not here." James looked over at Logan and realized that they were hardly two feet away from Carlos, swollen and cut and bruised. Looking so pale and peaceful that James had a hard time believing it was him.

"Oh my God, Logan I'm so sorry, I was just….I was so-….I don't know. I shouldn't have done that. Kendall, are you okay? I didn't really hurt you, did I?" James turned to Kendall, regret and sorrow filling his hazel eyes.

Kendall, on the other hand, looked hopeful and even a little happy. "It's cool, man. I understand. I know I should be sad, but I've just got a really good feeling. Let me try something." Kendall stood up, brushing off his pants and shirt. He stepped over the sitting forms of James and Logan, who quickly stood up behind him.

"Kendall, what are you doing?" Logan asked, tears stopping for the moment.

"Just let me try this one thing." Kendall pulled the sheet down to Carlos navel, looking over the scarred, swollen body. He slowly raised his hand, seeming hesitant to try whatever it was that he was doing, before finding his resolve and putting his hand on Carlos heart. Kendall's back blocked Logan and James from seeing this, but when their skin made contact, there was a soft glow beneath his skin, and then Kendall felt a pulse.

"Carlos, c'mon buddy, you can do this. Come back to us." James and Logan were in shock. Kendall was acting like Carlos would just awaken at his-.

"Oh my God!" James cried out. Spreading out from the place where Kendall had touched Carlos, color returned to his lifeless corpse. It spread over his entire torso, and then James noticed the steady rise and fall of Carlos' chest. He was breathing!

"Kendall, what did you-" Logan couldn't finish his sentence, for Carlos' arms had regained their color, and his fingers were twitching slightly. Logan was in awe. Carlos was retuning to life somehow. James was a little more observant. He noticed that as the color spread, it seemed to rid his body of any injury he had received. All the scars were vanishing. Not just fading into little white lines, completely vanishing, as if the wounds never existed.

Carlos feet were sticking out of the bottom, so James could see that his toes were wiggling. Color seemed reluctant to touch his face, going around his entire head first. The color also seemed to be making slight changes to Carlos' body. His muscles were much more defined than before, his tan was deeper, his hair seemed to shine with light from the inside. Even that little beauty mark on his chin disappeared. Color slowly spread up his face, going from the jaws up towards the eyes. His lips seemed richer in tone, and very moist. James almost thought that they became slightly more plump as well. His nose, which normally had a few black-heads on it, was completely clean, straightening itself out where it was broken. Finally, the color covered his eyes. His eyelashes grew thicker and longer, while his eyebrows shaped themselves perfectly, arranging themselves to look like he had just plucked them to perfection. Overall? Whereas before Carlos just looked adorable, he now looked completely hot. James wasn't gay, or even bisexual, but he acknowledged when someone else had great looks; Carlos now had them.

"Carlos? Can you hear me buddy?" Kendall asked gently as he reached up and squeezed Carlos' now broader, more muscular shoulders. Carlos' face was still relaxed, and he hadn't moved, but James could have sworn he heard a small 'mhm' rumbling in Carlos' throat.

"Great! That's great! Now, try to move your arm, or your leg, or anything! Just please, show us that you're okay!" Logan shouted grabbing onto his other shoulder. Carlos seemed to make a small whimper before his right arm slowly raised up off the table, reaching for something. "Oh my God! He's alive! Oh, thank you God! Thank you!" Logan had tears of joy spilling down his face. James was still in shock.

"C-Carlos? Can you really hear me?" Carlos nodded his head slowly, still looking for something with his arm. James looked, and noticed Kendall still had his hand over Carlos' heart, and he had an idea of what Carlos was searching for. "No, Carlos, reach the other way, to your left. Good. Now, up a little bit, now move your arm forward." As soon as he said that, Carlos put his hand right over Kendall's heart. There was an odd shimmering in the air between Carlos and Kendall, but James passed it off as nothing. Then he noticed another thing.

"Kendall! The color is spreading over you, too!" Apparently, Logan noticed it too. The color was spreading over Kendall's body, although, much faster than with Carlos. His hair also seemed to shine, and turned to a more pure blonde color. His already deep green eyes grew even deeper, and seemed to glow. His eyelashes and eyebrows did the same thing as with Carlos. James had to say, seeing a Kendall with normal eyebrows was very different. His lips darkened as well, and plumped up, like they were meant for kissing. His tan, which had started forming from the California sun, deepened drastically, getting at least three or four tones darker, to the point that it matched James'. His shoulders broadened, muscles inflated and grew defined, and James was willing to bet that Kendall even grew an inch or two. Looking down at Carlos, he realized that he was about as tall as Logan, maybe a little taller, when he had been a good two inches shorter before. The color removed every single blemish from Kendall's skin. This strange color seemed to re-craft your body to it's peak, making you as perfect as humanly possible.

"Huh, that's weird. Wonder why it did that. Okay, Carlos? Do you think you could open your eyes?" Logan's eyes widened. Why did Kendall's voice sound….sweeter, even seductive? He brushed off the thought. Carlos' eyelids fluttered, without a doubt, but they wouldn't open.

"I-I can't, get them…to open." Carlos spoke softly. His voice also sounded different. He sounded amazing. They seemed to have been made into super-humans, almost. "Why won't they open?" All the boys stared as Carlos spoke. It sounded like the purest sound to their ears. After more than twenty four hours thinking that they would never hear that voice again, this was the best gift they could imagine.

"Carlos, don't panic, okay? They will open, just give it time. Just…keep talking to us. Make us believe that there is no possibility that this is a dream." James whispered, afraid to shatter the beauty of the moment. Their baby brother was alive, talking to them, moving. The only thing keeping them from him fully was his closed eyes. Even in their dreams, none of them could ever imagine his eyes right. Their minds could never capture the depth of emotion behind them.

"Okay. What would help it go faster?" Carlos' voice was definitely stronger. He looked better and better every second. The fact that he was on an operating table in the ER didn't change that. He looked healthy.

"Think about how much you want to see us. How you never feel right unless we're all together. How separate, we aren't complete. You have to see us to be truly happy Carlos. C'mon, you can do it! We believe in you!" Kendall had brought his other hand up and rested it over Carlos hand on his heart. Carlos had mirrored the motion. His face was scrunching up in concentration, focused solely on seeing his friends again. Finally, his face smoothed back out, and his eyes slowly opened.

"Kendall? Logan? James? Is everything al-…OH DEAR LORD!" The four, happily reunited, brothers turned and saw Dr. Joey standing there with eyes as wide as dinner plates. "You-, you're- how are you-, uh, ahem, Carlos? You're alive? How?"

Carlos blinked several times before answering. "Um, I'm not sure. All I remember is seeing Kendall bending over me after I got hit, and then, poof, I'm here. And I feel different. Do I look different to you?" He spoke in his usual happy-go-lucky tone of voice that left Joey nodding his head in shocked silence.

"Um, Joey? Could you go get my Mom? I'm kinda….you know…naked, so I need new clothes. And it's freezing in here! Haven't you guys heard of space-heaters?" Carlos sat up, swaying a little, but with James and Logan steadying his shoulders, he was fine.

"Uh, yes! Of course! I'll, uh, be right back. Should I tell her that you're alive, or do you want to surprise her?" Carlos chose to surprise her, turning back to the guys as Joey left.

"So, uh, how long have I been out?"

"About a day and a quarter. It's already 12:45, the day after your accident. Well, technically two days." Kendall answered, removing his hand from Carlos' chest, only to pull him into a hug. "But it was a day and a quarter too long."

"You have no idea how terrible things have been since the accident. Everyone's been a mess. Mom can't stop crying, Katie hasn't cried yet, she's still in shock. And guess what Carlos! I got a date, and her best friend has the hots for you, big time. No pun intended." Carlos giggled slightly at the accidental joke.

"Carlos…Dr. Joey told us something. And, we were wondering about it." Logan spoke softly, and Kendall and James knew what he was about to bring up. They were about to protest when Carlos asked the dreaded question.

"What did he tell you?" He had a gentle smile on his face. His eyes, which had gained a multitude of different shades of brown, giving them the appearance of several different flavors of chocolate, shined with trust.

"Carlos, why would you cut yourself?" Logan started to tear up, lips trembling. The smile dropped right off of Carlos' face, eyes dimming and clouding over with shame.

"Um…I really don't think he knew what he was talking about. Why on Earth would I-" his excuse was stopped in it's tracks by the hard glare each of his brothers gave him. He took a deep breath, and mumbled out, "It's really complicated. It was a lot of things. At all of our concerts, there didn't seem to be that many Carlos fans. That, I didn't really mind. I mean, not many made posters, so I didn't expect there would be many with a single one of our names alone. But then, everyone always called me last to come on stage. I started to feel like I was just tagging along for he ride, not really important to the band. Then, I noticed that out of all of us, I had the least amount of solos, maybe three or four. And, I could never hear my harmony part in the songs. Just you guys. You have stronger voices than me. I was always shunted off to the side, left for last, looked at like I was a nuisance. So, I started acting out more and pulling more stunts to get attention. It didn't work. I just felt so left out, all the time. And then there was the fact that you guys were always with your dates. Kendall with Jo, Logan with Camille, James with whoever he picked for the day. You were all so happy, and I had yet to even have a girlfriend. Or even kiss anyone! I felt like I wasn't wanted. There was something else…but I can't remember what. So, one day, when I was shaving, I dropped the razor and it cut my wrist. It felt nice. It felt like the emotional pain was become physical pain, and then flowing out of my body. I knew I couldn't cut my wrists; too obvious. So, I cut farther up. I kept trying to stop…but I couldn't. Every time I got close, something else happened to make it worse. I'm sorry." Carlos had several tears streaming down his cheeks. His shoulders were starting to shake, and soon, he was right out bawling.

"Oh, my baby boy!" Kendall turned around in time to see their Mom, only to be shoved out of the way. Logan and James quickly followed. Stacy wrapped her youngest in a bone-crushing hug, crying into his shoulder. Carlos returned the hug,

"Mommy! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you! I just-"

"Not another word. You just keep yourself quiet and let me thank God that you're okay. My boy….my sweet little baby boy." He really was her baby boy. He was always the closest to her, letting her baby him as much as she wanted.

"Mommy.." He buried his head further into her shoulder. "How much did you hear?"

"Oh honey. I didn't know that you were hurting so much! From now on, I'm babying you twice as much as before. Your brothers and sister are self-sufficient enough that I can focus less on them and more on you." She rubbed the back of his head softly. "You know, I like your hair longer. You should keep growing it out. It's always been too short."

Carlos laughed. "Okay, Mom. I will. But, before that, can I please have some clothes?" He pulled back as much as he could in her tight embrace, blushing like a maniac.

"Oh, honey, of course you can! I was hoping you'd be okay, so I had a few spare clothes ready for when you woke up." She bent down to where she had dropped her purse, pulling out some black socks, some red Minnesota Wilds lounge pants, similar to James' pair, only, there was just one logo printed on the left thigh, and not several all over the pair. She also had a dark grey t-shirt and one of his special black vests that didn't close and had a hood on them. "Are these good?"

* * *

Me: There, happy now?

James: (faints from happiness)

Carlos: (yawns) That was a nice nap! But, why didn't you tell them what happened after I was pulled out of Purgatory?

Me: Because, that will be in the next chapter as a flashback. (pats Carlos' head) Now, I have a poll up on my profile for all those of you reading my other story, "I'm a WHAT?". It is crucial to the development of the story, so I need all of you to go and vote.

Logan: Yeah, very nice, but what about all the stuff I went through for your new idea? (gets thrown back in containment room)

Me: Never interrupt an author while they are giving a speech. I wasn't done. I also want all of you to go read stories written by Underworldchick-n-VMKPirate. She is absolutely amazing, and needs the support and love right now. Zoe, I want you to know that all of us here love you, and we won't give up on you. You are an amazing friend, and I hereby dedicate this story to you. (raises toast) TO ZOE!

Jess, Sean, Joel, Anna, and Sakura: TO ZOE!

Me: So, until next time, always keep hope in your heart, tell your dear ones you love them, and keep an eye out for the mysterious color that morphs you into a near-superhuman. Bye-bye!


	5. These Nightmares That We Fear

Me: I really need to get better updating habits. (shrugs)

Carlos: (tries covering himself in a towel) Why am I still naked?

Me: Oops! (throws clothes) Sorry. I assumed that you would take the clothes your Mom gave you…I guess I was wrong.

Kendall: So what happens now?

Me: Well, if I told you, there'd be no point in writing the chapter, now would there?

Kendall: I guess not.

James: Well, we're all together now, so I'm okay. Logan?

Logan: (is rocking in the fetal position in the corner)

Me: Sorry, Logan is my official test monkey for story ideas….not the best choice, but I'm too lazy to switch him!

Carlos, Kendall, and James: (stare wide-eyed)

Carlos: Why Logan?

Me: (shrugs) I guess just because he's my least favorite. Well, let me rephrase that. There are times where each one of you is my least favorite, but Logan tends to be it the most.

Others: Oh. (nod head in understanding)

Me: So, real quick, shoutouts to Underworldchick-n-VMKPirate, CappucinoBelleMare13, YunasDestiny, Kenlos is Love, ILOVECARLOS, tawneejboyd14, Sean, Jessica, and Joel. I love you guys, you are my inspiration. My life would be dull without you! Oh, and ILOVECARLOS, why did you disable messaging? Now I can't talk to you! (pouts)

Sean: Hey, Faller, would you come set the- (sees what's going on) I'M IN ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! YAAAY! (presses face to the screen) Hello peoples of the internet! I am currently hyped up on pain meds….again! (giggles hysterically)

Others: (stare in fear)

Sean: **Faller don't own nuttink in dis story!**

Me: Thank you, Sean. So, without further ado….start….reading…I guess?

* * *

**Chapter Five: These Nightmares That We Fear**

**Room 224 of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital 7:30 A.M.**

The boys could not believe what they were seeing. After Carlos had gotten dressed, they had helped him off of the operating table and into a room they had prepared for him. Even though they hadn't asked for it, Carlos had somehow gotten a room with nobody else in it. Not that he minded, he just thought it wasn't fair that he got special treatment when nobody else did. The doctors said they wanted to study him for a bit before they made any decisions about how long he should stay, but they thought that he should be able to go home that afternoon. They had agreed after many protests from Stacy to not perform any tests until after he had rested, or to hook Carlos up to any machines beside a heart monitor, which only required him to keep a clip on his finger.

They had passed Ari and Thalia on the way to their room. Upon seeing Thalia, Carlos had stopped dead. She was, quite frankly, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Seeing her in tears had made him want to murder the one who put her in that state. All he cared about was her, and being with her. It had taken all of the guys pulling and pushing him to get him to stop staring. Eventually, they had gotten to the room, and Carlos was exhausted. He may have bigger muscles, but being dead tends to wear you out. He had quickly crawled onto the hospital bed, crawled under the covers, and slept. His family was loathe to let him sleep, fearing that he wouldn't wake up, but his gentle breathing and twitching fingers kept them at ease. Seeing as they had been up for more than a day themselves, they all decided to sleep.

When they woke up, they were greeted by the sound of screams from a large crowd, almost as if they were at a concert. Being the lightest sleeper, Logan was the first to wake. Getting up off of the chair he had slept in, he walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains. Standing outside their window were hundreds of people, holding up signs saying things like 'I love Carlos', 'Carlos is the best', 'Don't give up yet!', and various other things meant to support Carlos. They obviously had a very devoted fan base.

"Uh, guys?" Nobody responded, obviously still fast asleep. "Guys?" Still no response. "GUYS!" Logan finally resorted to yelling, something he hated having to do. James jerked awake, falling off of the cot he had been laying on with Katie. This, in turn caused Katie to wake up, and jump up suddenly. Unfortunately, as she stood up, she tripped over their Mom's legs and landed on Kendall, waking both of them up. The only one still sleeping was Carlos, who was muttering softly about monkeys eating pancakes. Kendall walked over to him and shook him awake.

"Carlos….Carlos…CARLOS!" Carlos finally woke up, yawning largely before looking at Kendall with a strange expression.

"Umm, Kendall? When did you put dye in your hair?"

"Dye, what are you-" Looking in the mirror, Kendall saw that he now had black streaks running through his previously blonde hair. "MY HAIR! WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Probably whatever happened to my hair." Carlos also had a slight alteration to his hair. He had streaks of blonde. "This is weird! It's like someone switched parts of our hair! Isn't this cool?" Carlos, unlike Kendall, was taking things fairly well in stride.

"Yeah, that can wait. Would you guys take a look at this?" Logan motioned for them to take a look out the window. Walking over, they all gasped at seeing the hugs crowd. "So, Carlos, still think that you aren't important." Logan asked with a smirk.

"Wow….they're all here for me?" Carlos turned to his brothers for reassurance. They all nodded. "I…I didn't think so many people cared."

"Of course they do, Sweetie! Why wouldn't people care?" Stacy just hugged her youngest son close to her. "I know it's hard not to compare yourself to your brothers. But it's okay. You're still my baby boy. Okay?" Carlos returned the hug and nodded. "You know, I really do want to know what happened to your hair." The boys all just sighed.

* * *

**Room 224 of Golden Hills Mercy Hospital 2:00 PM**

Dr. Joey finally came in after lunch to run some tests and ask some questions. Stacy had taken Katie to the Palm Woods to reassure everyone that Carlos was okay, and that he would probably be coming home that afternoon. Kendall had taken a spot right next to Carlos on the hospital bed, holding his youngest brother's hand. James was standing right behind Kendall, hands on his shoulders. Logan was sitting on the bed with Carlos, holding him close.

"Well, you certainly look better!" Joey laughed at his joke, but nobody else did. It was still too soon for humor. Joey cleared his throat before resuming. "So, who gave you the hair dye?"

"Nobody. I woke up like this. But, Dr., is this really important? Don't you want to hurry up and finish?" Carlos looked a little apprehensive. He wasn't normally nervous in a hospital, but this time happened to be different.

"Right. Well, first, what do you remember? Or, rather, do you have any memory loss?" Carlos closed his eyes and scrunched up his face in concentration.

"Um, I remember everything up until right after I got hit. The next thing I remember is waking up in the E.R." Joey believed him, but his brother's didn't. There was something in the way that he said it that they knew he was lying.

"Okay, next, are you experiencing any pain or discomfort?"

"I really just want to go home. I feel fine, if not a little tired."

"Okay, so-" The examination continued in much of the same way for the better part of two hours. Eventually, Joey stood up, shook Carlos' hand, and said he could leave as soon as Mrs. Knight came and signed him out. He was free to go home. As soon as Joey left, the guys turned on him.

"Okay, why'd you lie?" The asked in unison.

"What? I didn't lie. What did I lie about?" Carlos tried avoiding his brother's eyes, but that was difficult considering they were all around him.

"You lied about what you remember. Talk to us." James insisted.

"Yeah, you can tell us anything, you know that, right?" Logan spoke up.

"Carlos…" The way Kendall said his name almost made him give in.

Almost.

"Look, guys, when I said that, I meant that's what I remember clearly. Everything in between is just a fuzzy blur. I swear." None of his brother's saw him cross his fingers. If any of them found out what he remembered, they'd ship him off to the wacky-shack.

"Guys, can you leave us alone? I want to talk to Carlos privately." Kendall pulled James' hands off of his shoulders.

"But, Kendall-" Logan spoke up. Of all of them, he was closest to Carlos.

"Logan please, just let me talk to him." The look Kendall gave him assured him they wouldn't be separated long. Logan just got up without a word and left, James following. "So, Carlos, what really happened? What aren't you telling us?" Carlos wanted so badly to just tell his oldest brother the whole story, but he couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry, Kendall…I just can't." Carlos leaned down, refusing to look at Kendall. Kendall knew that he could keep talking, but it would be like talking to a wall. Kendall let out a large sigh, and headed out into the hallway. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't see Carlos starting to cry.

* * *

**Room 2J of the Palmwoods 1:00 AM**

Carlos' dreams were all to vivid that night. They left him tossing and turning in his bed, sweating profusely. But he wasn't having a nightmare. He was reliving a memory.

* * *

**?**

_Carlos had no recollection of how he got where he was. Nor did he even know where he was. He didn't know anything at the moment. Slowly, he opened his eyes. When he did, he had to blink a few times to make sure they were open. It looked the same either way. "Am I…am I blind?"_

"_No. You are however, dead." Carlos' head snapped upwards. He looked around for a moment before realizing that he wasn't standing, or sitting, or laying down. He was floating. _

"_Who said that? Where am I? How did I get here? Where are my brothers?" Carlos was starting to panic, thrashing about and trying to find something to hold on to. _

"_Hold still, or you'll break the floating spell. That's the only thing holding you up and out of Hell you know." Carlos froze immediately. He, personally, did not want to go to Hell._

"_Why would I go there? I've been a good person! I always kept my promises, I helped my Mom with the stuff around the house, I-"_

"_Stop talking so I can focus on getting you out of Purgatory. Everyone goes to Purgatory when they die. Whether or not they stay there until they are ready to move on is up to their actions…literally. Forgiveness takes time, and the impatient don't receive it." _

"_What have I done that needed forgiving? I don't remember doing anything bad, besides throwing a few tantrums back when I was little." Carlos was doing his best not to move, however, he had an itch on his back that was starting to drive him crazy. "Can I move at all?"_

"_Yes, just don't thrash around. Slow, gentle movements are fine." The voice was definitely that of a woman. _

"_Excuse me, ma'am, but who are you? And where are you? I'm all alone here, so how can I hear you?" _

"_Didn't I tell you to stop talking? Removing someone from Purgatory before judgment time takes a lot of focus and energy. Five more minutes, and then you can ask me all the questions you want." Carlos complied, making sure that all of his movements were reasonably paced and calm. In the time that he was in the abyss, he even went so far as to act like he was swimming. _

"_Are you almost done?" Carlos shouted after what felt like, at least, a good half an hour. _

"_Hm? Oh, I was done ten minutes ago, I was just waiting for you to ask." Carlos raised his eyebrow._

"_Did you do that to be rude? That isn't a nice thing to do." _

"_Oh no, but we immortals have different rules of behavior than you mortals do. We never assume that people will just give answers when they reach them, we always have to ask when we think they know. I wasn't just going to tell you I was ready, as it's only proper for you to ask first." Carlos was confounded. Immortals? What was this crazy lady talking about? _

'_Well, I shouldn't be surprised by anything, seeing as I'm talking to a bodiless voice in Purgatory.' Carlos shook his head and sighed. "So, would you get me out of here please? I really don't like being stuck in this blackness….even if it is perfect for naps."_

"_Do you really feel the need to sleep? You shouldn't, not anymore. The dead don't need sleep."_

"_But, I'm obviously not dead, seeing as I'm aware of my surroundings and I'm talking to you." The woman just laughed._

"_Your point is well made." All of a sudden, the darkness started to get lighter and lighter, until it was all white, and glowing to the point that Carlos had to shield his eyes. All of a sudden, he was hitting the ground on his butt, arms still crossed over his face. There was still light shining through, but not nearly as much as before. "Come now Carlos, let me have a look at you."_

"_Wha-?" Carlos opened his eyes, blinking a few times at the sudden light. When he was finally adjusted to it, he looked up towards where he heard the voice, and gasped. In front of him was the single most terrifying person he had ever seen. Even though none of her skin was visible, he didn't know if he even wanted to see it. She was wearing a black cloak that hung loosely on her shoulders, with the hood up, although Carlos could see the ends of black hair. Under that she wore a black dress with frayed ends, short enough in front to show she was wearing black boots, but long enough in the back that it was almost like the train of a bridal dress. Her arms were hidden by the cloak. The most terrifying part was the pair of jet black wings that sprouted from her shoulder blades._

"_It's nice to finally meet you. I am Kedrehil, but you may call me Jessica, for that is how it has been translated into the modern tongue. I am the Angel of Death." She stuck her gloved hand out, showing that the sleeves of her dress also had frayed ends. Carlos was seriously doubting his choice to leave Purgatory. Being with this lady didn't seem like it would be that much better. Carlos started backing away when he realized one very crucial fact. _

_He was completely naked. _

"_Where are my clothes? Where am I? What is going on?" Carlos started to panic. Desperately trying to cover himself up. He went to pull one of the large leaves off of an enormous fern when suddenly Jessica was hovering over him, her feet on either side of his waist, holding onto his wrist._

"_Take not a single leaf or blossom from the garden's of Heaven, unless you wish to remain here. And don't worry about hiding yourself from me. I find no attraction to the human body. I'd rather sleep with a demon." The thing was, she wasn't being sarcastic when she said that. She really rather would sleep with a demon. Although, whether or not demons were her first choice remained to be seen._

"_Wait, I'm in Heaven? Why am I here?" _

"_You are in the part of heaven that is closest to the mortal world. It is from this place that Adam and Eve were dropped to the Earth. And it is only from here that you may return." Return? How could he go back? He was dead. The Angel could obviously see the confusion on his face. "If certain conditions are met, souls may be returned to their bodies. They may rejoin the living." _

"_So, you're saying that I might be able to go home? I might be able to see my family again?" _

"_Yes. If he pays the price, which I think he will, you will be returned." Now, Carlos was confused._

"_He? What price? What are you talking about?" _

"_If certain conditions are met, souls may return to Earth. There are many conditions, but the key one among those is the Sacrifice of one's life. And not just anyone's. One who is close to the one being returned. So, if he pays the price, you will be returned." It took Carlos a minute, but he finally understood the message. Someone close to him was going to give up their life to save his. _

"_What? No! Don't let them! I don't want anyone-" Suddenly, Jessica's head snapped up._

"_I'm sorry, Carlos, but it is time for me to collect my payment. I will be back to send you down to Earth." And with a flash, she disappeared._

* * *

**Room 2J of the Palmwoods 7:00 AM**

"No!" Carlos shot up in his bed, sweating bullets. He looked around, seeing that Logan, Kendall, and James were all already out of bed. He sat there, waiting for his breathing to settle before he got up out of bed, changing into a clean pair of pajamas, and heading downstairs for breakfast. Hopefully some of his Mom's pancakes would calm him down. Entering the kitchen, he was pulled into a tight hug.

"And how did my Baby Boy sleep last night?" Carlos turned around in his Mother's gentle arms and hugged her back. He purposely kept his eyes shut, hating that he was lying to her.

"I slept great, how about you?" He knew he was gonna break down later, but he could hold himself together for a little while longer.

'Why do I have to lie to those I love?'

* * *

Me: So, there you go. Sorry the update took so freaking long, but I moved back in with my parents, and it's taken some time for things to settle down enough for me to write. So, again, I'm really sorry. School is almost over, so I should be updating more regularly. Well, maybe, maybe not. I want to get a job this summer, and start working out more often. I'm starting to lose some of my muscle mass, and that is not good considering who I am. I have to bulk up again. Haha, I also need to get my license. Yeah, I know, what seventeen year old doesn't have a license? Well, whatever, I'm working on it. So, until next time, make the most of life, keep those you love close to you, and never give up on a friendship.


	6. These Songs That We Write

Me: So, this is an extra special update, in honor of Tawneejboyd14's birthday! She's extra special, and I hope you take the time to read her stories.

James: Um, the last chapter says that somebody had to give their lives to bring Carlos back…does that mean one of us is gonna die?

Logan: I hope not. Faller is gonna write a story starring me, for once.

Me: No James, nobody will die. I noticed a lot of you asked what that meant in your reviews. See, there's more than one way somebody could give their life. It could mean they die, yes, but it could also mean they've given themselves to another as a life-long servant, or they decide to dedicate their entire life to something. And yes, Logan, I will. See, I probably made a lot of Logan lovers mad with my last update, which was unintentional. I still love Logan to bits, I just tend to be a little more annoyed by him than the others. But, to appease the wrath of the masses, I am writing a Logan-centric fic, in which I will treat him like royalty…literally!

Kendall: That's nice, but what about the rest of us?

Carlos: You won't forget about us, will you? (pouts)

Me: I would never. But, in case you haven't noticed, this fic is really Carlos and Kendall-centric. And in "One in a Million", Zoe and I focus more on James and Carlos. Alright? Logan needs a little time in the spotlight.

Others: Oooohhhhhh.

Me: Shoutouts to Underworldchick-n-VMKPirate, CappucinoBelleMare13, YunasDestiny, Kenlos is Love, ILOVECARLOS, tawneejboyd14, Sean, Jessica, and Joel. All of you guys are astounding people, and I hope you are all successful in whatever you do! Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAWNEE!

Joel: Hey, can I do the disclaimer?

Me: I guess so. Have at it.

Joel: **Faller doesn't own anything in this FanFiction.**

Me: Xiexie ni. That means "thank you" in Chinese, for all of you who don't know.

Thalia: Can we get on with the fic? I'd like to hook up with the hottest guy in existence!

Ari: So, you mean James? (gets tackled by Thalia)

Everyone else: On with the fic!

* * *

**Chapter 6: These Songs That We Write/ These Clues That We Leave**

**Palmwoods, Apartment 2J, Noon **

Twelve days. Kendall had spent twelve days desperately trying to find a way to leave his brothers a clue as to why he was going to disappear. He needed a good idea, and fast, or he would leave his family empty handed. Outside, he saw James flirting with that girl from the coffee shop down by the pool. The day after Carlos had been released from the hospital, James had taken her out on a date, as promised. He had really enjoyed himself, and decided he wanted to hang out with her more often. Of course, when James turned on the charm, few could resist. Ari, however, managed to say no….usually.

Across from the pool were Logan and Camille, cuddling on a pool chair. Camille had been watching the news almost nonstop after the guys had taken off in the ambulance, and had almost literally crushed Carlos in a hug the next time she saw him. Coming out of the lobby, being fawned on by the Jennifers, was Carlos. Now, most people would have loved to be in his position, but he was staring at Ari's friend, Thalia, a love-struck look in his eye. Thalia, as crazy as she had been to see him at the hospital, had avoided him since they got out. Nobody was quite sure why.

"It's nice to see that they can enjoy themselves even though I'm gone. And I haven't even left yet."

"Where are you leaving to?" Kendall sat ramrod straight, fearing turning around. Slowly, he turned and saw his sister Katie standing in the door. She had a confused look on her face, and a sad look in her eyes. Since the accident, Katie had been extra clingy with her brothers. She was afraid to let them out of her sight, acting almost as bad as their Mom. Their Mom had babied Carlos to the extreme, letting him relax while the others did chores, giving him extra desert, and almost never getting mad when he broke something.

"Katie-Kat, I'm not leaving. I just have to run to the studio today because Gustavo needed me, and I'm glad to see that I don't have to entertain our weird brothers. That's all." Kendall lied to the best of his ability, praying that Katie would believe him.

"Oh, okay. I thought you were gonna leave us." Katie walked over and latched onto Kendall, burying her face in his shirt. Guilt struck Kendall harshly, almost buckling his knees. But, for Katie's sake, he managed to stay standing up.

"If I ever left you guys, Katie….it would kill me. It really would." Kendall just held his sister, trying to fight back tears. _'What am I going to do?'_

* * *

**Palmwoods, Pool, Noon**

Carlos could not stop staring. This girl was dazzling, beautiful, perfect. The Jennifers had nothing on her. Her deeply tanned skin, revealing her Latin heritage, glowed in the sun. Her eyes, a deep earthy brown filled with flecks of blue and green, seemed to draw him in. Her blush, completely natural, made him stare. Her figure, nicely curved, yet sturdy, looked like it would fit perfectly in his arms. He could imagine holding her, resting his chin on her head as she laid it on his chest. He wanted nothing but to be hers, and for her to be his. He wanted to protect her from everything, but he could see she was a free spirit, and he couldn't contain her. He rested his cheek on his hand and let out a love struck sigh.

"Carlos? Do you even care that we're willing to date you?" The blonde Jennifer asked.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm sure there are a lot of other guys that would be willing to fill your place." The black Jennifer said. She snapped her fingers, and there was suddenly a line of guys staring at the Jennifers. Carlos just kept staring at the mystery girl, oblivious to everything else. His heart ached knowing somebody else could ask her out any second, but he was too much of a chicken to ask her himself.

"She's so…beautiful…." Carlos had hearts in his eyes. The Jennifers gasped, realizing what he was staring at.

"Come on girls. Let's hit the spa." The brunette Jennifer said. The girls stood, turned, and left the pool in their usual slow motion. Logan looked up when the Jennifers passed, looking over to see Carlos alone, staring at Thalia.

"Hey, Camille? I'm gonna go talk to Carlos. Meet you here tonight for the fire pit jam?"

"Sure, Logan. See you tonight." She leaned up and kissed him. As she walked away, Logan could only stare. It was amazing that despite everything they had been through, they ended up together. He had been so unsure during their first relationship, and James kissing her had been a good excuse to escape that confusion. But then, after a while, he realized that he missed her, wanted her. Seeing her with Steve had filled him with jealousy and sorrow. Then, after the prom, he had talked to her, confessing his feelings and crying to her. She had just held him. He had gotten up to leave when she slapped him across the cheek and kissed him passionately, tears spilling over her cheeks.

"It took you long enough." She had said. Logan smiled at the memory before getting up to talk to Carlos.

"Hey buddy. So, whatcha staring at?"

"This girl. She's so pretty. I wish I knew her name." Carlos let out another sigh. Logan suddenly had an idea to get his love struck brother and his biggest fan together.

"Well, why don't you sing her a song at the fire pit jam tonight? Then, afterwards, you can talk to her." Logan smirked as his brother shot up, grinning like mad.

"That's a great idea Logie! Thanks so much!" Carlos wrapped his older brother in a hug before running out of the pool area, accidentally shoving someone into the pool in his haste.

"Wow, talk about eager. They'll get together, I'm sure. Now, better go to the studio, see if Gustavo will write me a song for Camille."

On the other side of the pool, James and Ari were sipping smoothies. James, as usual, had the pink smoothie, forcing Ari to drink the blue one. She didn't mind. She was too busy trying to comprehend how she had a date with James Diamond.

"So, what's it like working at the coffee shop?" James asked. Something about Ari seriously drew him in. For once, he wasn't admiring other girls while he was in the middle of dating one.

"Well, it's okay. I kinda have to work there because my parents own the shop. I still get paid though, and I don't have to worry about losing my job. There's this guy that works there, Lionel, he knows pretty much everything there is to know about coffee, but not in that creepy, fanatical sort of way. He just knows it, and if you ask, he'll answer. He even knows about this one type of coffee that will increase your sex drive." James was barely able to turn his head away before spitting out his smoothie.

"Whoa! Hey now, nooo talking about…those things." He put extra emphasis on 'those things', hunching his shoulders and using air quotes. "I may be a sixteen year old boy, but me and my brothers are all still as innocent as you can be after taking high school health." He set down his smoothie, obviously uncomfortable.

"Wow. You guys are really…real, aren't you?" James just tilted his head in confusion.

"What do you mean? If we weren't real, I couldn't be dating the hottest girl in LA, now could I?" Ari blushed. Sure, she could resist his charm, but she was a sucker for flattery.

"No, I mean, you're not fakes. You're open about who you are. You don't have anything to hide."

"Well, everyone has their secrets, but for the most part, yeah. We are pretty open. At least, we try to be. Lying just feels, I don't know, icky." Ari laughed.

"You're all still so innocent!" James blushed, thinking it was criticism. "I think it's cute." James snapped to attention.

"Really? Most girls would think it's embarrassing."

"No. I'm a pretty average girl, and I don't think it's embarrassing. It's endearing. It adds to your appeal. You're honest, open, innocent, extremely hot-" Ari gasped. "Did I just say that last one?" She had a look of mortification on her face. James just smirked, his ego effectively stroked.

"Why yes, my dear. I do believe you did." Ari just turned her head away, trying to hide her reddening face. James seized his chance, leaning over the table to kiss her on the cheek. She gasped. "Well anyways, Doctor Love is gonna go get ready for the fire-pit jam tonight. You gonna be there?" Ari nodded her head just enough to be visible. James was smiling like an idiot as he walked into the lobby. "Man, I am falling, and falling hard! I just hope she's got a cushion ready for me."

* * *

**Palmwoods, Apartment 2J, 12:30 PM**

Kendall was freaking out, pacing his room while avoiding the bunk beds. See, all four boys shared a room, leaving one available room for guests. He was desperate, DESPERATE, for a way to leave a clue. The Angel had only said that he couldn't outright tell them, not that he couldn't drop hints. Why couldn't someone come up to him, grab him by the shoulders, and give him an idea?

"Keeeeeeeeendaaaaaaaaaaaall!" Kendall only had enough time to turn around before being tackled by an extra energetic Carlos. Since the hospital, they had both undergone more changes. Kendall's eyes started getting patches of brown, while Carlos' had swirls of green. Carlos was still getting taller, now about two inches taller than Logan. Their hair seemed to be slowly switching with each other, both being half blonde, half black. Both of their shoulders were very broad, and their muscles seemed to expand like balloons. To say that the changes were improvements would be without argument, although some would say there wasn't much to improve on anyways.

"What is it Bud?" Kendall gently pushed Carlos off his chest, rubbing his back where he had fallen on it. Strangely, when he got hurt, it didn't last as long as before. Bruises faded before his eyes, cuts disappeared in minutes, bones that should have been broken were whole. He knew one thing he was doing when he ran into that angel: Asking her what the heck was going on.

"I have a great idea to ask out this really hot girl tonight! It's the perfect way to drop a hint to somebody!" Well, Kendall, ask and you shall receive.

"Really? What is it?" Kendall was getting excited. If this was another of Carlos' brilliance moments, he knew it'd be good.

"A song! I'm gonna write a song for her, telling her how I feel! I mean, I don't know her yet, but it feels like I do, you know?" Kendall did know. Sometimes, he felt that way with Jo. Horror grasped his heart. What was he gonna do about Jo? "Kendall? Are you okay, hermano? You look scared."

"Sorry, I just forgot about the fire pit jam, and I was planning on singing a few songs myself." 'Pull it together, Kendall! Don't let them worry' Carlos looked relieved.

"Well it's a good thing I reminded you, huh?" He was beaming, clearly pleased with himself. He was so much like a puppy. "So, do you wanna go to Rocque Records with me and write a few songs? That way, we can record them with Gustavo and see what we can do about maybe getting them on our next album as bonus tracks."

"Oh, you're going to Rocque Records too?" Looking into the doorway, they saw Logan and James smiling. "Cool! We could all write our own songs and then share them tonight!" Logan said, obviously excited.

"Yeah! That'd be so much fun! I'm writing one for my new girlfriend, Ari." James was still smiling like and idiot.

"Really? I'm writing one for my soon-to-be-girlfriend, Ari's friend!"

"You don't even know her name?" James asked, confusion all over his face.

"Well….no, and I'll find out for myself. I want to hear her name from her mouth, nobody else's." Carlos crossed his arms and pouted for emphasis. James just laughed.

"So, what are you writing yours about, Logie?"

"I'm writing it for Camille. I want to show her I'm not holding back or confused this time. That I'm really, truly in love with her." Logan puffed out his chest slightly, not ashamed of his feelings.

"Nice! Way to go Man!" James gave Logan a high five that left them both rubbing their bleeding noses…it's better if you didn't know.

"Ouch…so, what are you writing yours about, Kendall?" Carlos asked, a completely innocent smile on his very cheerful face.

"Umm, I'm writing two, actually. One for Jo, and one….for you guys." Kendall almost mumbled the last part. The others froze and looked at him out of shock.

"For….for us?" Logan asked, breaking the silence.

"For our whole family. When Carlos d-….died, it made me realize just how bad losing one of us would hurt the whole family, so I wanted to write a song about that. About how we should never give up on each other, no matter what happens, or how hard it gets." Honestly, Kendall hadn't planned that at all, but the words came from his heart. They were true. He closed his eyes, trying to choke back the tears. Suddenly, he was pulled into a very warm pair of arms, quickly followed by two more sets. Opening his eyes, he saw his three brothers holding him tightly, Carlos in tears.

"I didn't mean to scare you…I didn't even know what had happened. I'm sorry, Kendall." Kendall held his youngest brother's face in his hands.

"Carlos." Carlos opened his eyes and stared at Kendall, seeing eyes that were so much like his own now. "It wasn't your fault. We just wish that you had told us how you felt. Okay? Promise you'll tell us from now on?" Carlos nodded. He leaned forward into Kendall's hug, feeling with every fiber of his being that this was where he belonged.

* * *

**Rocque Records, 1:25 PM**

"Okay, so it's agreed that we gently broach the subject and calmly ask him to write songs for us?" Logan asked, trying to make sure everyone had the plan memorized. They were going to knock on Gustavo's door, wait for him to invite them in, slowly work the topic of the fire pit jam into their conversation, and oh so casually ask Gustavo to write them five songs within five or six hours. No problem.

"Yes sir!" The others chorused. They turned around and walked over to Gustavo's door. Logan raised his hand to knock when the others lost their patience and barged in, landing on top of each other with poor little Logan on the bottom.

"WHAT DO YOU DOGS WANT?" They heard Gustavo bellow in his usual manner. He got straight to the point…must be in a good mood.

"WILL YOU WRITE US SOME SONGS?" They all asked at the same time, then all flinched back and covered their heads in protection. When they didn't hear Gustavo picking anything up to throw at them, they slowly relaxed. Gustavo stared at them, an eyebrow raised at their antics.

"Sure. What do you need?" They all rushed forward and asked for what they wanted at the same time…or at least, they started to. "DOGS! SIT!" Ironically, they all fell backwards and onto their buts from the force of his scream. "Now, one at a time, what do you want? James?" James stood up, and walked up to his desk.

"I want to ask this girl I've taken out a few times to be my girlfriend." Gustavo sat back in his chair, a smirk on his face.

"I thought you might ask. This the same girl you've been texting during recording sessions?" James nodded sheepishly. He loved singing for the band, really…Ari just distracted him from that. "I knew it. I actually already wrote a song for that occasion. I was gonna have you all record it tomorrow, but you can sing it solo for tonight." Gustavo reached into the top right drawer on his desk and pulled out an envelope with one word written across the top. "Go practice. You'll need it. That piece will be tricky to sing." James nodded, grinning from ear to ear. He left the office, running to practice in one of the many studios. "Alright, next. Logan."

"Okay. Um, well, I want Camille to know that I'm not holding back this time. I'm really, truly in love with her. I want her to know I have no doubts." Logan stood very straight, not backing down under Gustavo's examining stare.

"You're really serious about being with her, aren't you?" Logan nodded, resolute. "Alright. I wrote this one a while ago, but I was waiting until you were a little older and all in a serious relationship." Gustavo reached into the drawer again, pulling out an envelope with three words across the top. This one isn't too hard, but it needs a lot of emotion behind it. Come talk to me if you feel like you can't put enough feeling in it " Logan nodded and started to leave, but stopped in the door.

"Thanks, Gustavo. I know I've always been the worst off out of all of us, but you've helped me a lot. If you ever need anything, you can always call us. We'll help you." Logan left, leaving a stunned Gustavo and a very shocked Carlos and Kendall.

"Umm, well, AHEM! Next dog." Carlos bounced up, all shock gone from his face, replaced with a carefree smile.

"Um, well, there's this girl that I really, REALLY, like. I don't know her yet, but I can tell I'm meant to be with her. I look at her and everything just seems okay. Like, not that teenage-obsession sort of okay. That adult, no-matter-what-happens-I'll-be-fine-if-you-help-me, sort of okay. You know?" Gustavo could almost see the hearts in Carlos' eyes. He knew almost nothing about this girl, but seemed so sure. Gustavo shrugged.

"Well, I might have a few things you can-"

"Oh, and can you write it in a Hispanic style? She's a Latina…I'm a Latino….it kinds seems right." Carlos blushed a little. Usually, he didn't bring up his heritage when it came to music. He was too busy having fun. Gustavo sighed.

"Alright. I'll see what I can whip up. It's been a while since I wrote any Latin music." Carlos jumped up in excitement once, and ran out of the room, yelling a thanks over his shoulder. "Aaand, Kendall. What do you need?" Kendall didn't sit up. He was staring after Carlos with the saddest look in his eyes. "Kendall?" Gustavo got up and walked around his desk, kneeling next the blonde…or, half blonde, as it were. He had noticed the changes, in both of them. You'd have to be blind not to. Gustavo figured there were two explanations. One, Kendall and Carlos were gay for each other, and were trying to look like each other. Two, Kendall had done the same thing Joel had done for Sam back when he was 16...he hoped to God it was the former. It would only kill them if it was the second.

"I don't think I can do it, Gustavo….but I have no choice. I wish I could tell you what's going on. So badly, but I can't. But at the same time, I don't want to drag anyone into it." Kendall's eyes watered up, and he let the salty orbs fall down his face.

"It's Jessica, isn't it? That black-winged Angel?" Kendall gasped and looked up at Gustavo.

"How'd you know?" Gustavo ignored the question.

"So, you sold your soul to her to save Carlos?" Kendall blankly nodded. "I thought so. When are your two weeks up?"

"Tomorrow night at midnight." Gustavo bowed his head.

"I'm sorry. It must kill you to have to leave your family." Kendall broke upon hearing that, crying loudly and latching onto Gustavo. Gustavo just patted his back nervously.

"I don't want to leave them! Please don't let her take me away! Please, Gustavo, make the nightmare end!" Gustavo pulled Kendall off of him.

"I can't your soul is already placed. The only way to not leave is to destroy it's vessel…and that would kill you." Kendall looked up, scared. "See, when you sell your soul, it has to have a host. So, it's placed inside a body, it's new vessel. It's usually the person you're trying to save. Your soul brings them back to life until their soul returns to the body. By your soul being in another, your body takes on some of their characteristics, and having your soul in them changes some of their characteristics to yours. Like your hair and eyes."

"But what about everything else? The healing, and the strength, and all of that other stuff?"

"You're both experiencing that for different reasons. He's feeling it because of the two souls inside of him. It doubles the effectiveness of everything in his body. Twice the fuel source, twice the power, see?" Kendall looked like he was still a little confused.

"What about me? I have no 'fuel source', how is that happening?"

"No soul means you're not human. But, you're not undead, because your soul still exists. The lack of humanity means a lack of human weakness. You're both essentially super-human. What you're experiencing now is just the start. There will be some more changes, much more drastic, but not for a while."

"How do you know all of this? Did you do this before?" Gustavo winced at the reminder.

"No…but my two best friends did. Our friend Sam got hurt, and they couldn't save her…so Joel struck a deal with her. Eternal service in return for Sam's life. Two weeks later, Joel disappeared, leaving nothing but notes behind to tell us that he was sorry. We didn't see him for ten years. That's how often that people like him get a vacation, apparently. He comes to see us every ten years. But only for one month. Then it's back to wherever-land. He's explained the changes to us, so I know from him."

"I see….it's not fair. If only things could stay frozen like this forever."

"That's another thing. People with two souls, or no souls, they can't die." Kendall froze. So he and Carlos would live forever…without their family.

"You…you mean?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry." Kendall was out of tears. Out of grief. He was empty. But he had to keep going.

"I can't focus on that now. Right now, I need two songs. One for my family, and one for Jo." Gustavo's head snapped up, like he had an idea. Running behind his desk, he moved a landscape painting, revealing a safe that was opened by a password. Gustavo entered the password, and opened the safe, pulling out a dusty envelope. He handed it to Kendall. "Umm, what is this?"

"THAT, my dear Dog, is the song you'll be singing for your family. As for the song for Jo, you want one explaining that she needs to be strong and wait for you, right?" Kendall nodded. "Good. I'll write that up for you. Now, go practice. You need it."

"Thanks, Gustavo. I'll miss-"

"Save your goodbyes for tomorrow, Dog. Remember, you still have to come in and record all those songs." Kendall smiled and walked to the door.

* * *

**Rocque Records, 1:30 PM**

Carlos was running through the building, practicing his gymnastics. Once a week, he had been sneaking out of the apartment, going to a gymnastics class under the pretense that he was jogging around the city. He had a tendency to wander, so nobody questioned him. See, Gustavo and Kelly were annoyed that only James and Logan could do flips. They thought that all of the guys should be able to perform some sort of trick. So, Carlos signed up for gymnastics, and was prepared to amaze them at their dance rehearsal tomorrow. He had mastered front-flips, back-flips, and cartwheels. Now was the dreaded challenge. The hand-plant into a somersault leading to a spring into a front flip. Carlos was able to do it with a harness at the gym, but needed to do it without it, and often practiced when nobody was around. James was in Studio A, and Logan was in Studio B, leaving Carlos to roam the halls as he waited for Gustavo to finish his song.

"Okay, I can do this. I got this. Whoo." Carlos pumped himself up, getting a running start before bouncing forward onto one hand, holding it before falling into a perfect somersault. Jumping up out of the somersault, Carlos started to flip forward….and landed on his butt. "Dang it! So close that time!" Carlos smacked the floor in frustration before looking up. He had completed a lap around the floor their studios were on. He was back outside Gustavo's office. Suddenly, he heard an unusual noise. Kendall was crying. Carlos was about to open the door when he heard something that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"I don't want to leave them! Please don't let her take me away! Please, Gustavo, make the nightmare end!" Carlos froze. They couldn't be talking about that Angel, could they? He listened in on their conversation, his horror growing as it went on. He felt sick to his core. He was holding part of Kendall inside of him? To give it back, he'd have to die? Kendall was going to leave? He couldn't take it anymore. With tears in his eyes, he ran away. He wasn't paying much attention to where, he just ran. Suddenly, he ran right into someone and knocked them both over.

"Ow! Carlos, what is wrong? Running around like that…man." Looking up, Carlos saw his brother Logan. He jumped onto Logan, latching onto his torso, and cried like he had just watched a terrible murder. He was screaming and crying, snot running from his nose. The noise attracted James, who had been right across the hall. Seeing the condition Carlos was in, he ran forward.

"Carlos, are you hurt? Are you in pain? What's wrong?" Carlos shook his head. He knew he should tell them about what he heard, but he wanted to wait. No need to ruin an evening that was supposed to be wonderful.

"I'm sorry. I guess the weight of everything that's happened just hit me all at once. I freaked out. But I'm okay. Really." James looked somewhat convinced, but Logan looked like he didn't believe him at all. Seriously, I'm okay!" Carlos wiped his eyes and nose, standing up. "See? All better!" He put on a bright smile. Logan still didn't look like he believed him, but wasn't going to worry about it anymore.

"Alright. But I'm talking to you about this tomorrow." Logan gave Carlos a no-nonsense look that made sure he knew he wasn't avoiding this.

"Alright. I promise I'll talk to you. Right now, I'm gonna go see if Gustavo finished my song. See ya later!" Before James or Logan could object, Carlos ran out of the room.

"So Logie, you think he was telling the truth?"

"No, Jamie, I don't. But I know we won't get an answer out of him until tomorrow. Let's just go back to practicing. We'll need it."

* * *

**Palmwoods Pool, 8:30 PM**

It was just about time for the fire pit jam to start. Guitar Dude was tuning his guitar, the Jennifers were relaxing on some pool chairs pulled close to the fire, Camille was sitting with Logan, kissing softly, James was sitting next to Ari, talking, and Carlos was sitting in front of the fire, staring over at Thalia. Kendall and Jo walked up to the large group of teenagers, effectively quieting them. Kendall pulled out Jo's chair before sitting down himself, getting comfortable.

"Well, what's everybody waiting for? Let's get this party started!" Everyone cheered, Guitar Dude taking his usual spot. James jumped up first, standing on the little stage they had made using a few tables and choir risers.

"Alright, how's everybody doing?" He was answered with a group of cheers. "Okay, this song is for that pretty little girl sitting right here." He gestured to Ari, who glared at him.

"If you ever want to have kids, Diamond, you'll refrain from calling me little for the rest of your life!" Everybody laughed at that, but James winced. He knew she wasn't kidding.

"Well, anyways, this song is called Boyfriend. We'll be recording this at Rocque Records tomorrow. I hope you like it." James nodded at Guitar Dude, who dramatically acted like he was going to play his guitar…but just pressed play on a CD Player next to him. James started singing.

"_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boy._

_Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone…yeah._

_And it isn't anything they could have said or done._

_And every day I see you're on your own._

_And I can't believe that you're alone._

_But I overheard your girls and this is what they said:_

_That you're looking for a boyfriend,_

_I see that._

_Gimme time, you know I'm gonna be that._

_Don't be scared to come put your trust in me. _

_Can't you see, all I really wanna be is your boyfriend._

_Can't fight that. Knock me down, you know I'm coming right back._

_I don't care at all what you done before._

_All I really want is to be your:_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Let me take a little moment to find the right words. (To find the right words)_

_So when I kick it to you it ain't something that you heard. (Something that you've heard)_

_I don't know what kind of guy that you prefer._

_But I know I gotta put myself forward._

_See I think I got the kind of love that you deserve._

_And I heard that:_

_That you're looking for a boyfriend,_

_I see that._

_Gimme time, you know I'm gonna be that._

_Don't be scared to come put your trust in me. _

_Can't you see, all I really wanna be is your boyfriend._

_Can't fight that. Knock me down, you know I'm coming right back._

_I don't care at all what you done before._

_All I really want is to be your:_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_If you tell me yeah I'm waiting here._

_Every day like Slumdog Millionaire._

_Bigger than the Twilight love affair._

_Ill be here, girl I swear._

_That you're looking for a boyfriend,_

_I see that._

_Gimme time, you know I'm gonna be that._

_Don't be scared to come put your trust in me. _

_Can't you see, all I really wanna be is your boyfriend._

_Can't fight that. Knock me down, you know I'm coming right back._

_I don't care at all what you done before._

_All I really want is to be your:_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend. (Your Boyfriend)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend. (Your Boyfriend)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend. (Yeah, Your Boyfriend)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend. (Ooh)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend. (Yeah Yeah Yeah)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend. (Ooh.)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend._

_All I really want is to be your."_

James was dancing passionately the whole time, and ended his routine by pointing at a very shocked and happy Ari.

"Ari? Can I be your Boyfriend?" The whole crowd made an 'aww' and turned to Ari for an answer. She simply got up, walked onto the stage, looked at James for a minute…and tackled him in a kiss. James proceeded to carry her off to their seats as everyone wolf-whistled. Logan got up next, walking nervously onto the stage.

"Hey everybody." He was greeted with a chorus of heys. "Well, this song is for Camille. She's the coolest girl in the world, and I want to show her that I'm not confused anymore. It's called I Love You." Logan nodded to guitar Dude, who started to play a small intro.

"_La la,La la la la,La la la la.I like your smile.I like your vibe.I like your that's not why I love you._

_And I, I like the 're such a that's not why I love .Do you feel, do you feel me?Do you feel what I feel, too?Do you need, do you need me?Do you need me?_

_You're so beautiful,But that's not why I love you.I'm not sure you know,That the reason I love you is you,Being you,Just the reason I love you is all that we've been through,And that's why I love you._

_La la,La la la la,La la la la.I like the way that you behave,When we start that's not why I love how you keep your cool,When I am that's not why I love you._

_Hey,Do you feel, do you feel me?Do you feel what I feel, too?Do you need, do you need me?_

_Do you need me?You're so beautiful,But that's not why I love I'm not sure you know,That the reason I love you is you,Being you,Just the reason I love you is all that we've been through,And that's why I love you._

_Yeah…._

_Even though we didn't make it through,I am always here for you,You._

_Hey,Do you feel, do you feel me?Do you feel what I feel, too?Do you need, do you need me?Do you need me?You're so beautiful,But that's not why I love you.I'm not sure you know,That the reason I love you is you,Being you,Just the reason I love you is all that we've been through,And that's why I love you._

_La la,La la la la. (oh oh)La la,La la la la. (That's why I love you)_

_La la,La la la la. (oh oh)La la,La la la la. (That's why I love you)"_

The crowd cheered as Logan finished. Logan raised his hands for silence.

"Camille, I just wanted to say, that even though we've been through a lot, that I love you. And I hope that I can always love you like this." Logan reached into his back pocket and took out a little black box. The crowd hasped. "Oh relax, I'm not proposing." They let out a sigh. "Camille, will you take this promise ring?" He opened the box, revealing a simple ring. It had a silver frame, with the words "I Love You" etched into it, and a hear-shaped ruby in the center. Camille started to tear up, jumping onto the stage and enveloping Logan in a hug.

"Yes, yes, absolutely!" Everyone started cheering as Logan slipped the ring on her finger and walked off the stage. Carlos quickly took his spot.

"Alright, so I suppose many of you know by now that I've never really had a girlfriend." Many laughed, and a few asked about Sasha. "Yeah, things with Sasha didn't really work out….but anyways, I have my sights set on this girl who I don't really know. Sometimes I don't think she even really knows I exist. But I know that I won't give up until I at least know her name. This song, Tu Amor, is for her. That pretty Latina next to James' new girlfriend." At this, Thalia looked up, hope in her eyes.

'_Could he mean me?_' She thought. Guitar Dude started up the melody.

"_Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to these simple words will do best to best explain:What I feel in my heart,What I feel more each to make you to let you to say, how to say, how I love you words you understand,Words that get right through to your 's the place to start:Tu amor, I will always be,Tu amor, means the world to ás siempre en mi 're the one in my soul,And I live for tu amor, tu amor love you more with each look in your eyes,Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe:What I feel in my heart,What I'll feel for all to make you to let you to say, how to say, how I need you words you understand,Words that get through to your that let you now:Tu amor, I will always be,Tu amor, means the world to ás siempre en mi 're the one in my soul,And I live for tu amor, tu 're the one that,I need in my me these words I say, _

_Are words that come straight from my do I make you believeNothing else means as much as what you mean to me?Tu amor, I will always be,Tu amor, means the world to ás siempre en mi 're the one in my soul,And I live for tu amor, tu amor."_

Thalia blushed as Carlos finished. He had been looking straight at her the whole time, and he had even thrown in some of their native language, catching her interest even more. She had been avoiding him for so long because while she desperately wanted to meet him, she was afraid that he'd just see her as another deranged fan. To hear him sing such a lovely song just for her blew her mind.

"Princesa?" Thalia looked up, assuming Carlos was talking to her. "May I know your name?" Thalia nodded blankly, still in shock. Ari nudged her in the ribs, snapping her out of it.

"My name is Annalise Davis. Call me Thalia." Carlos' face brightened dramatically until he had that silly love struck look on his face again. He jumped off the stage and sat down with her, holding her hand and starting a conversation as everyone cheered for them. Kendall took the stage next, clearing his throat a few times in the microphone to get everybody's attention.

"Well, I actually have two songs. One's for Jo, my girlfriend. The other's for my family. As you all know, Carlos got into a really bad accident about two weeks ago, and he died for a while. Thankfully, everything turned out okay. I know that for my family, those were some of the hardest hours of our lives. Carlos is my little brother, the baby in our family. Thinking that we'd lost him forever was just too much. We broke down. We wouldn't be able to live without him. So my second song is for my family. It'll let you know that no matter how hard it may seem, things will always work out if you keep pushing forward. But first, a song for Jo. This one's called Worldwide." Guitar dude played the track.

"_Wait a minute, before you tell me anything,How was your day?'Cause I been missingYou by my side, I awake you out of your dream?I'm sorry but I couldn't calm me down,There's something about the sound of your voice.I, I, I, I never, never, _

_Never as far away as it may seem, we'll be 'll pick up right where we left , London, 's just one thing that I gotta , tuck you in every night on the , tuck you in every I can hardly take another , won't be 're the one that I'm waiting , tuck you in every night on the phone, , I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, , I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, , I'll be thinking about , I may meet a million pretty girls,That know my don't you worry, no,'Cause you have my ain't easy to keep on moving city to city,Just get up and the show must go on,So I need you to be strong.I, I, I, I never, never, _

_Never as far away as it may seem, we'll be 'll pick up right where we left , London, Tokyo,It's just one thing that I gotta , tuck you in every night on the , tuck you in every I can hardly take another , won't be 're the one that I'm waiting , tuck you in every night on the phone, , I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, , I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, , I'll be thinking about , wherever the wind blows me,You're still the one and only girl on my , there ain't no one better. (Worldwide)So always remember. (Worldwide)Always remember, girl, you're mine! _

_Paris, London, Tokyo,It's just one thing that I gotta , tuck you in every night on the , tuck you in every I can hardly take another goodbye,Baby, won't be 're the one that I'm waiting , tuck you in every night on the phone, , I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, , I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, , I'll be thinking about you. (Worldwide)Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls,That know my don't you worry,'Cause you have my heart."_

Unnoticed by the cheering crowd, Kendall started to cry. He basically just told Jo goodbye, and she looked too touched to realize it. The pain was too much. He was willing to beg the Angel to let him stay longer when she came the next night. But he couldn't, or she might take back Carlos' soul. And he wasn't willing to give up Carlos' life just so he could be happy. After a while, the crowd noticed the silent tears falling down his cheeks and a few stood up in worry. Jo ran to him and gently grabbed both sides of his face, making him look at her.

"Kendall, what's wrong?" When she looked into his beautiful emerald eyes, all she saw was misery, torment, and guilt.

"I'm sorry. I just-…there was a lot of feeling in that song, you know? I hope you can see the meaning behind it." He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss before he escorted her back to her seat. Getting back up in stage, he noticed that his brothers' eyes held the most concern and worry. He waved them off before drying his eyes. He nodded to Guitar Dude, who started the next track while playing the guitar part.

"_There are things in life you'll learn,_

_And in time you'll out there somewhere,It's all waiting,If you keep don't run, don't hide,It will be all 'll see, trust me,I'll be there watching over take a look through my 's a better place somewhere out take a look through my eyes._

_Everything changes,You'll be amazed what you'll find,If you look through my will be times on this journey,All you'll see is out there somewhere, daylight finds you,If you keep don't run, don't hide,It will be all 'll see, trust me,I'll be there watching over take a look through my 's a better place somewhere out take a look through my changes,You'll be amazed what you'll find,If you look through my the things that you can change,There's a meaning in you will find all you need,There's so much to take a look through my 's a better place somewhere out take a look through my changes,You'll be amazed what you'll find,If you look through my a look through my eyes."_

Everyone was silent, for somewhere during the song, Kendall had started crying again. Only, these weren't the silent tears from before. As soon as he had stopped singing, he fell to the ground and wept, covering his face with his hands. His brothers and Jo rushed up to make sure he was okay. Their Mom, who had walked in silently just before the show started, ran up and gently pushed her other sons out of the way. She grabbed Kendall's wrists and gently pulled his hands away from his face.

"Kendall, honey, what's wrong?" Kendall just pulled his Mother into a hug, sobbing even harder into her shoulder. She hugged him back, rubbing soothing circles on his back. Carlos was the next to join the hug, then Logan and James joined in at the same time. They felt so helpless, not knowing what was wrong. All except Carlos. He knew exactly what was wrong, but didn't tell. He knew that if Kendall was going to say something, he would do it tomorrow. Instead, he just wept with his oldest brother, burying his face in his shoulder blade. Kendall didn't even notice the time pass. He didn't notice the crowd slowly leave, or James carefully pick him up and carry him to the apartment, or his family tuck him into bed. The entire time he continued to cry.

"Kendall?" Carlos gently asked when his Mother and other brothers left the room. Kendall didn't respond, he just continued crying. "I'm sorry." Carlos muttered before climbing into the bunk over Kendall's, listening to his sobs slowly subside as he fell asleep. Though they didn't know it, they both thought the same thing just before they fell asleep.

'_Why did that Angel have to ruin my Family?'_

* * *

Me: So, most of your questions are probably answered. If not, ask me. Man, this chapter was hard for me to do. And extremely long. For those of you who noticed the lyrics change in "I Love You", I really didn't think it was appropriate for a sixteen year old couple to be singing about how they act when they're wasted. Not smart. I realize that you're still waiting for the next chapter of "I'm a WHAT?" and I promise you, it'll be ready soon. I haven't been able to focus on it much, but I won't start the next chapter of Sacrifices until IAW is ready. There is a huge plot twist coming up in it that I hope you like. Until next time, listen to some music, don't hold in your pain, and keep family first.


	7. These Goodbyes That We Bid

Me: Wow. It's been months….."I'm sorry" doesn't even begin to cover it. I'll just post the best chapter I can make and hope it's worth the wait. I hope you enjoy.

**I do not own Big Time Rush in any way, shape, or form.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: These Goodbyes That We Bid**

**The Palm Woods, Apartment 2J, 8:00 A.M.**

Kendall's eyes slowly slid open, unbeknownst to him, at the same time as Carlos'. They both lay there, thinking over what they knew to be inevitable. But while Kendall knew he couldn't stop this from happening, Carlos was still hoping that he could change it. So he made a resolution: Talk to Kendall about it as soon as he gets up.

Well, after five minutes, Carlos was starting to get hungry, so he decided to speed up the process and wake Kendall up himself.

"Kenny? You awake up there?" Kendall blinked back a few tears knowing he had less than twenty four hours with his family who he wouldn't see again for ten years, at the least. He took in a shaky breath before answering.

"Yeah….I'm up." Carlos paused, trying to figure out whether he should get straight to the point, or draw it out. A growl from his stomach told him the sooner, the better. "If you're hungry, we can talk after-"

"I heard you talking to Gustavo, yesterday….I know." Kendall froze. He could have sworn his heart stopped as well.

"I don't know what you're-" He was cut off by Carlos shooting out of bed so that he was eye-level with Kendall. He looked so broken, so afraid; Kendall almost considered asking the Angel if he could take Carlos with him. Almost.

"Don't lie to me. I heard you. All of it. From the moment you begged Gustavo not to let her take you. To make him make the nightmare end." Kendall knew that Carlos was telling the truth. He quoted him too perfectly to be lying. But what could he say?

"And what am I supposed to do?" Carlos was baffled.

"Talk to her. Ask for a do-over. Beg her for more time or for her to change things! Anything! Please, I can't lose you! You can't leave! We need you! _I _need you! You can't just-just l-leave us li-like this!" Tears were pouring down his caramel face, eyes overflowing with sorrow. Kendall just jumped down off of his bed, holding Carlos as tight as he could.

"Carlitos…..I would do anything in my power to change this if I could. But I can't. Nothing I say or do will change her mind. Nothing will make things okay. This is going to happen, whether we like it or not. And, if I could go back and change things….I wouldn't. It's not worth it if you were dead." Carlos just cried harder.

"How could you just give up? Why wouldn't you tell us? We could've helped you! We could've-" Kendall stopped him with a gentle kiss to the forehead.

"I'm not allowed to tell."

"You told Gustavo! Why couldn't you tell us?" Kendall closed his eyes. He should've known this would come up.

"Gustavo already knew about it because of his friends. They did the same thing. And they've been doing this for years now. They would know that there's no way to stop it."

"Maybe there is a way…." Carlos murmured. The blonde just raised his eyebrows.

"What?" The Latino looked up at him, a desperate look in his eyes.

"Have her take your soul out of me! Have her put it back!"

"NO!" The smaller boy stumbled back from the volume of the scream. He thought his brother was angry until he saw the pure terror in his eyes. "No! You would die! Our souls are too close together. Even trying to remove mine could result in yours being damaged or destroyed! I won't risk that. And I won't let you risk that either."

"But Kendall!"

"No buts! I am leaving tonight so that the rest of you can stay here, alive and happy! And that is final, Carlos! No matter how much…how much this literally kills me, makes me want to throw myself into the pits of Hell for abandoning you, I have to do this. And you will go along with it. Got it? You will let me walk out that door tonight." Carlos just backed away slowly, shaking his head in denial.

"But….I love you. James and Logan and Katie and Mom love you. Why would you tear us apart like this? Why would you hurt us? Wh-when we need you? When you're all we need?" Before Kendall could say or do anything, Carlos ran from the room, tears pouring down his face. He threw himself down the swirly-slide, moving to run towards the door, but running into Mama Knight instead. When he looked up and saw it was her, he just buried his head in her chest and sobbed his heart out.

"Carlos, Baby, look at me. Look at me, please. Please, Baby, what's wrong? Talk to Mommy, please! Carlos, Baby, you're scaring me, what happened?" But no matter what she said, he just kept sobbing. Eventually, his sobs attracted James and Logan, who had taken the guest bedroom to try to give Carlos and Kendall a little privacy. Both of them had breakdowns that day, so the two brunettes decided they deserved a night alone. Seeing the condition of their brother, they immediately rushed to his side, trying just as hard as their Mother to help him. Nothing worked.

Katie, who had noticed that Kendall had not yet come out of his room, decided to go and check on him. After getting up onto the second floor, she walked down the hallway and into her Brothers' room's doorway before freezing. Kendall was in the exact same state as Carlos, lying on the floor and fisting his hair. "Oh Kendall." She whispered, too in shock at seeing two of her brothers like this. She slowly lowered herself to the ground, pulling the blonde's head into her lap, and stroking his head, trying to soothe him the same way he often soothed her.

"It hurts so bad Katie….it hurts, and I can't do anything about it. I can't even tell you! I just want to-…" His sobs once again became too much. She could still hear Carlos crying, but she also heard James walking towards the room. She knew it was James, because James was the only one who put on slippers in the morning, and they made the oddest shuffling noise as he walked.

"Katie, where is Kendall? I think Carlos needs-" He froze, much like Katie had, at the sight that awaited him. He immediately ran to Kendall and fell beside him. "Oh Kenny, not you too! What is going on? Are you hurt? Did something happen? Kendall? Answer me!" But the blonde just wept into his brother's shirt, clinging to him for dear life.

After a good twenty minutes of crying, Kendall's sobs finally slowed to a few hiccups and silent tears. James rubbed his back, trying to relax him even more. "Kendall, what happened? Why were you and Carlos crying?" Kendall just looked away.

"I can't tell you." James started getting frustrated. He knew that they were probably going through a lot, but if Kendall didn't tell talk to him, how could he help?

"C'mon, it can't be that embarrassing! You can tell me. We're brothers; we look out for each other. Please? Don't you trust me?"

"I do trust you." James was just more confused.

"So why won't you tell me? If you trust me-"

"I do trust you, I'm just not allowed to tell. If I could, I would….but I can't." James was only more confused.

"Did someone tell you not to tell?" Kendall nodded against his chest. "Oh. Oh! I know! Carlos had a nightmare about the accident, you woke him up, he told you, you started crying, and so Carlos ran off trying to find comfort, but he didn't want you to tell! Am I right? I'm right, aren't I?" The brunette smirked, obviously pleased with himself. The blonde just chuckled, trying to stop the last of his tears from falling.

"Yep….you got it." Surprisingly, James just pulled him up into a tight hug.

"I'm still scared too. I cry myself to sleep some night because those two days just replay themselves in my head. Over and over, until I'm ready to be sick. You don't have to hide your tears from us, Kenny….you never do." James started crying, which only lead to Kendall letting a few more tears out, but not full-on sobbing like he was before. He returned James' favor, rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Katie sat there all the while, trying not to cry with them.

* * *

**The Palm Woods, Pool, 11:00 A.M.**

Carlos was pacing, extremely antsy. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. He knew it was wrong. But…he couldn't go on. He couldn't do this. He knew his heart wouldn't have the strength to be in any sort of relationship, friendly or otherwise. He knew that when Kendall left, something inside him would die. Something large and important. Something necessary for him to live.

"Carlos?" he spun around, seeing Thalia standing uncertainly behind him, a nervous look on her face. As much as he liked her, he couldn't lead her on. Not when he couldn't put his whole heart into it. "Is everything okay? You sounded really upset when you called."

"Thalia, I can't do this. I can't be with you, friend or boyfriend. I can't have you in my life. Don't get me wrong, I want to, and I do like you, but-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you talking about? Carlos, are you sure you're feeling okay? Maybe you should-"

"Thalia!" She jumped back, shocked that he would yell. "Please just….stay away from me. It's better for you this way. I'm sorry, but….my heart won't be able to build any sort of relationship with anyone for a long time. The ones I already have are gonna be hard to maintain. So please….go. And don't try to talk to me anymore. Don't expect anything out of me anymore." And before she could respond, he ran. Ashamed of how he treated her, afraid that she would hate him, and afraid that he would never get another chance with her.

But what did that matter? None of it mattered if he didn't have his whole family to share it with. And Kendall was leaving. Kendall wasn't going to be there to make sure Carlos didn't embarrass himself on a date. He wasn't going to be there to have chicken fights with him in the pool. He wouldn't be there for anything anymore. So Carlos knew he had to do something. He had to keep Kendall from leaving, no matter what it took.

* * *

**Rocque Records, 1:30 P.M.**

After recording their new songs, the guys decided to hang around at the studio and play with the recording equipment. Gustavo and Kelly were preparing for a meeting later that afternoon, so they left the sound technician, Mike, to help their "dogs". But as much as they wanted to have fun, things weren't exactly working out to fit the mood.

Kendall refused to say anything more than was necessary, instead standing off to the side with a frown seemingly permanently plastered onto his face. Carlos' phone had been buzzing every five minutes for the past few hours, but instead of shutting it off, he threw it against the wall, causing it to shatter. James looked antsy, not knowing whether to try to fix things between the four brothers, or to pretend like everything was okay and sing as if nothing was wrong. And Logan had his thinking face on. He was looking back on the past two weeks, trying to figure out what could've happened to make them all like this. He was still determined to talk to Carlos about it, but would the youngest even say anything?

They were going over their song "Show Me" using chipmunk voices on the mike instead of their own, having to stop and restrain themselves from giggling, when Carlos suddenly excused himself.

"Sorry, guys, I need to use the restroom. I'll be back, I swear." He smiled to the best of his ability before running off.

"Ummm, I kind of have to ask Gustavo something, so I'll be back too. Kay, bye!" Kendall followed after Carlos, already out of earshot before the brunettes could say anything.

"Please don't tell me you suddenly have to run off too, Loges." James turned to his younger brother, a sad smile on his face. Logan returned it, shrugging.

"Those two are always going off on their own nowadays. Someone needs to stay here with you, Jay." They chuckled, sitting down on the pillows that lined the ground in the booth.

"Thanks. So, what do you think is going on with them? They've been acting so weird."

"I don't know. It all started with the accident. But what happened? Is there something they're not telling us? If so, why aren't they telling us? They can trust us, we're their brothers! I mean, why wouldn't they tru-" James quickly covered Logan's mouth.

"Loges chill. If they're gonna tell us. They'll tell us. I mean, I want to know as much as you, but…what else can we do? Right?" Logan just nodded, sighing deeply.

* * *

**Rocque Records, Bathroom, 1:35 P.M.**

Carlos sat in one of the stalls, trying to think of a way he could somehow contact that stupid Angel and ask her for more time for Kendall, or for hew to fix everything.

"Why can't she just be here? Angel lady, if you can hear me, please talk to me!"

"You called?" Carlos fell off of the toilet in shock.

"Angel lady? Where are you? Am I imagining this?" The angel sighed.

"It's Jessica to you. And I'm outside the stall, idiot." He slowly opened the stall, eyes bugging out in surprise. Instead of her usual black robes were some fairly regular clothes: A blood red tank top with a black leather corset, a black ruffled skirt over skin-tight red leggings, and black leather knee-high boots. Her hair was filled with russet and copper streaks, and her eyes seemed to glow red.

"Wow….you look-"

"Scary? Terrifying?" She crossed her arms and smirked.

"I was gonna say hot, but you'd probably hurt me if I did." They both chuckled.

"All too true. Now, what's so important that you had to summon me here? You have to know how busy I am."

"I know, but it's about Kendall…"

"Ah, so you realized who saved you. Good. Now get to the point." The smirk was starting to vanish from her face, only to be replaced with a scowl.

"Can you cancel the deal? Or at least give him more time?" She had started shaking her head before he even finished.

"I truly am sorry you have to experience this, Carlos, but Kendall made a deal. I know it's hard, but-"

"No! That's not good enough! Please, isn't there anything you can do? Anything at all? Please, I'm begging you! Please!" Tears were running down his cheeks. He was on his knees, clutching to her arm. "Isn't there anything you can do? I c-can't live without Kendall! I need my big brother, please!"

"Carlos, I really don't enjoy ripping people apart like this. I may be the Angel of Death, but that doesn't mean I don't have a conscience. I'd let all of the people I make contracts with off the hook, but it's not my choice. It's in my job description: Escort souls of the dead to Purgatory for judgment, reap souls from those willing to make contracts, resend souls to earth, and transfer souls. There's nothing I can do. Once a soul has been transferred, I can't put it back unless I get an order from someone higher in authority. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go." And before he could respond, she had disappeared.

* * *

**Rocque Records, Gustavo's Office, 1:42 P.M.**

"So….I guess this is it. You'll talk to Griffin and make sure he doesn't replace me? That Big Time Rush will be a three-man band?" Gustavo nodded.

"It's the least I could do to help my dogs get through this…" He let out a long sigh. "This probably could've been avoided if I had just driven you home."

"Don't blame yourself Gustavo. We can't let the past control our lives. We just have to…to move on. No matter how hard it may be." They both looked down, lost in their thoughts. "I can never thank you enough for everything you've given us; a chance to be famous, an amazing apartment, a swirly slide for Carlos, the songs for the campfire jam….everything. I never thought I'd say this, but…..I'm going to miss you Gustavo." Gustavo just twirled his fingers awkwardly while looking away.

"Just, don't push it Dog. You know I don't do the sappy stuff." They both chuckled.

"I know. Take care of the guys for me. Who knows what kind of trouble they'll cook up without me there to stop them? And try to relax a little more. Go for morning walks, soak in the bath tub for a while, heck even spend a day at the spa! I know the stress is good for getting the creative juices going, but it's also bad for your health. Just saying…" He tagged on at the end, seeing his manager starting to go red from being told what to do.

"I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM DOGS…..but the day at the spa does sound refreshing. Maybe I'll consider those more of friendly suggestions." Kendall nodded. He stuck out his hand for a handshake, which the older man quickly returned.

"It's been amazing working with you Gustavo….goodbye."

* * *

**The Palm Woods, Apartment 2J, 5:30 P.M.**

Kendall sat in his bedroom at the desk. He was writing everyone letters for when he left that night. He had a feeling Carlos was going to try to stop him from leaving, but didn't know what he could do to keep that from happening. He had just finished sealing and marking the last letter when his Mother called him down for dinner. He stuffed the letters in his pillowcase before hurrying downstairs.

Dinner was a silent and slightly awkward affair. Even though Kendall and Carlos were the only ones that knew what was to occur that night, there was a tension in the air that wouldn't go away. Everyone felt that something was going to happen, but none of them had the audacity to speak up about it. Carlos and James didn't even play with their nuggets as usual.

Cleanup was just as tense, the only noises being the clink and clatter of the yellow plates, and the running water in the sink. Mama Knight had the boys just sit down and watch TV after the dishes, heading down to the lobby to talk to Mr. Bitters about a weird noise coming from the floor above them.

None of them really paid attention to the television, the images flickering across the screen without any of them registering what was happening. It wasn't until a commercial came on for some new game Carlos had wanted that Katie finally snapped. She had expected him to jump up at the commercial and act all excited, but he just sunk further into his seat.

"That's it! I can't take the stress! What is going on?" She stood with her hands on her hips, the single braid in her hair hanging between her eyes. The boys all looked at her in shock. "Start talking, what is going on with you guys? You haven't said anything for hours. I didn't even think that was possible!"

"Katie-Kat, nothing is-" Kendall was interrupted with a smack to the face.

"Don't try to butter me up with all that Katie-Kat business! I'm probably smarter than all of you put together, minus Logan. I'm ten, but that doesn't mean I don't know when something's up. Need I remind you, I'm the one who saved James when he was locked in a dog cage in the basement? Or that I beat Carlos and James in the prank war? Or how about the time I helped Logan get that date with Camille? Or when I helped Kendall find out that Jo was lying about having a boyfriend? I'm not helpless, so start talking!" None of them had ever seen her so angry or upset about anything. There was a fire in her eyes that was only seen in the eyes of the Knight family. And it was never good for those who were receiving the fiery glare.

"Katie, please, calm down. There's no use getting upset." Logan reached out to embrace her, only to have his hands smacked away. He rubbed them before continuing. "Look, I don't know what's wrong with all of us tonight. Maybe the stress from the accident is catching up to us. Maybe we're just having an off day. Whatever the case….this should stop now, okay? Let's all just talk. Okay?" Everyone nodded, seeming slightly convinced. "I guess I'll start. So…..oh, I got it! So I had this super weird dream last night. Carlos had this weird red stripe on his face over his eyes, and every time somebody thought of something…" And the conversation went on, everyone starting to lighten up and laugh a little. But all too soon, the sky was dark, Katie was asleep on James' arm, and the boys were ready to crash.

"C'mon guys….let's get to bed. It's late, and Katie definitely has the right idea." James gently lifted his sister before carrying her back to her bedroom. His brothers just went upstairs to their room, rubbing their eyes and dragging their feet. James joined them not long after, collapsing onto his bed beneath Logan's without even changing. Logan was already asleep, wearing a plain white t-shirt and some green lounge pants with the recycling symbol all over them.

That left Kendall and Carlos, staring at each other awkwardly. As soon as they heard their pretty-boy brother's soft snores, Carlos spoke up. "So….."

"So…." Kendall shifted his weight from foot to foot before walking over to the dresser and pulling out some sleep-wear. "Tonight's the night." Carlos gulped, his mouth suddenly deprived of moisture.

"I…I know. Are you…completely sure there's nothing you can do? No way that you can stay?" Kendall nodded, finishing pulling off his pants and shirt.

"Positive, as much as I wish I wasn't. I'm so sorry, Carlos. If there was anything I could do to make this easier-"

"I know. Just take care of yourself for me. Promise me you'll be okay and….and that you'll come back to visit as soon as you can. Please?" Kendall nodded.

"I promise, Carlos. But, I don't know if I'll ever be able to visit." Carlos was dumbstruck.

"What?" Kendall shook his head, pulling his sweat pants up. The elastic snapping against his skin was the only noise in the apartment.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to visit. I mean-" Before he could finish, the clock on the wall started chiming. They both looked, afraid of what they might see.

12:00

"No! I haven't gotten to finish!" The door suddenly opened, and a whispering voice floated into the room, calling for Kendall. "Listen, Carlos….there are letters for all of you in my pillowcase. I need you to read them with everyone. They're my goodbyes."

"No! You can't go! I need you! We need you!" Carlos ran forward, only to be thrown back by a sudden burst of wind. "Kendall! Please, no!" Kendall only turned, holding back his tears as he walked out the door. The wind that knocked Carlos back slammed the door just as the young Latino threw himself against it. "No! Kendall, please, don't go! I need you here! Logan and James need you here! Katie, Mom, Jo, Camille, everyone needs you! Please!"

He repeatedly slammed his body into the door until it finally broke down. Recovering from the small fall, he stood as quickly as he could and ran down the hall to the balcony, jumping over the edge to the ground below. Rolling as he hit the ground, he turned, only to see Kendall standing in the doorway facing him, the Angel behind him with her hand on his shoulder. As he sprinted towards them, crying out, the door shut. He wrenched the wicked boundary open, only to find nothing on the other side.

He was too late.

Kendall was gone.

Out of his life.

And as these realizations continued to twist and pull at his heart to the point that he felt physical pain, he dropped to his knees, heartbreaking cries tearing from his lips.

Until this point, the rest of the world had frozen. From the first stroke of midnight to the last, time ceased to flow for any but the two brothers. And as the last mournful note faded into silence, the rest of the world awoke, only to be met with Carlos' agonizing screams. Logan and James bolted up in their beds, immediately running downstairs to see what was wrong. As they came around the corner at the same time as their Mother and sister, they all froze.

What they saw would haunt their memories for the rest of their lives.

Carlos down on his knees, prostrated before God, begging for the return of his brother through tears and screams, pounding the ground until his knuckles bled. And all of them were at a loss for words. Only Katie worked up the strength to walk forward and embrace the pained boy. He clung to her like his life depended on it, muttering and whimpering as the rest of the Palm Woods' inhabitants arrived. They only heard one sentence from his mouth, but none could decipher what he meant.

"He's gone….he's gone….he's gone…" And he continued his mantra until his chest stopped heaving, and his brothers escorted him back to their room. It wasn't until them that anyone noticed a certain blonde's absence.

"Boys, where's Kendall?" Carlos' tears started anew at his Mother's question, as the realization struck all of them.

'_Kendall is gone….he's gone…..he's gone….'_

* * *

Me: I feel like this chapter was really rushed. But I had a lot to get done, and I wanted it done in this chapter. And I did it.

**Important!**

So, for those that don't already know, I am moving away. I'm moving with my boyfriend and his family to Venezuela. And before any of you say, "how exciting" I have something to say: I will not have any internet connection, or any phone connection. So, that means that I will no longer be writing anything on this site. Yep…..this is my goodbye. I have gained and learned so much from this site and the people on it. It has truly been a privilege. Now, before you say anything, my close friend will be taking over all of my stories for me. He's really nervous, so try to be nice to him. Please?

So, to those of you I knew personally, I will miss you so much. I've made some of my best friends on here. To those who read my stories, I couldn't ask for better fans. And for those who are just now learning about me, I'm sorry I missed out on the chance of knowing you.

So, for the last time, I am finishing up. Goodbye FanFiction. I love you very much.


End file.
